Ever had that feeling when you just don't know what to do in a situation. That's mostly my whole life's story. Today my best friend told me:"Man...if you don't want to come to that party just don't..." That sentence got me so worked up that I thought and I thought and was sorting things out in my mind which lead nowhere and my day was ruined and I was depressed. I get depressed a lot. My life is a huge personality crisis. In elementary and high school I was constantly bullied and laughed upon. I could never stand up for myself. I noticed that while the other kids were discovering girls, going out and getting together I kinda remained where I was. I mean hell I'm 23 and I've had one girlfriend which was actually a fluke. Damn. So everytime in a conversation even the mentioning of girls kinda bums me out and I try to changew the subject. But that's not my point here. My point is that while living these 23 years I think I haven't been actually living them. It's like life just passed by. I feel like a ten year old ina an adult world and I'm scared. There are sometimes when I just freeze and block-out. I've had this really traumatising experience which really messed up my head and I felt like s**t for months. Depression itself is not the problem. Everyone gets depressed sometimes. The problem is I get depressed very often about various things and mostly about not fitting in. Recently I've been browsing the web in search for a therapist, a person whom I can talk to or someone like me. I stumbled upon this forum. I see I'm different and I think I have many problems and the positive thinking really doesn't help me all that much. There are times when I feel I can't feel joy whatsoever. Please respond.
