Do you hate much?

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Sometimes there's just so much hate in me, I feel so overwhelmed. It's always when I feel myself getting better, becoming more peaceful and happier, that some stupid confrontation happens and I feel all my buried hatred pouring out and swarming me .

It's like I just can't be better. I wish to lash out and hurt all those who hurt me, but I restrain myself all the time, I just can't have the last word, I am so afraid of hurting others. I know my words always get misunderstood, even if they don't mean to hurt.

Yet everyone can hurt me so easily with their words. They throw criticisms around carelessly like daggers.

I really need to be able to forgive and let go of these past hurts, and hopefully grow a thicker skin, hah.

Anyone feel like this?

I used to feel really full of hate sometimes, when people pissed me off. And it would really get to me, so I'd feel like punching them in the face. I think it was because I felt frustrated at not being able to prove they were wrong, even though I knew they were.

I've adapted to it now though and learned not to care too much what other people think. Hopefully you can do that too although I don't have any advice on HOW, as it just kinda happened by itself with me.

Try and look at it from a different perspective - if people hurt you then they're not worth being concerned about; their opinions don't matter. If it's someone you DO care about that's hurting you (ie family, friends) then try and explain to them why what they're saying bothers you so much, and they'll probably try not to criticise you so carelessly.

How old are you btw?
When I was a teenager I was full of anger and would fly off the handle at the slightest thin. I'm 21 now and deal with it much better. You might find you just grow out of it. Hopfully anyway,as I know it sucks

My anger got better with the birth of my son! Nothing will seperate me from my son.

lol i'm 25!
I always thought getting out of my teenage years would help with my anger issues.
But I guess years of emotional neglect and verbal abuse do take its toil.

My family doesn't really talk about issues, preferring to just brush them off.
Nor are we comfortable in expressing emotions around each other. Sometimes I wonder if my parents even experience any emotions, they had always seem so nonchalant about everything. They generally dislike any expression of grief. When I was a child, whenever I cried, my parents constantly discounted my feelings and even shamed me for crying (and I'm a girl).

I guess that's why I always feel the need to suppress my feelings.

Antidepressants helped me with my rage although that wasn't what I expected or why I was put on them. I'll give an example- When I was about 12 I was molested; it was far less than what many people suffer but still whenever I thought about it the feelings of shame and rage would come rushing back and I would experience them physically as if the incident had just happened. Now that I'm on Prozac I can acknowledge that I felt that way but not be overcome by it.

Who/what do you hate?

*Shrugs* I hate a lot. Sometimes it feels as if my back is searing with it wanting to break free.

*Shrugs*

I just rant and scream inside my head whilst doing horrific things to the people I hate inside my head.

May not be healthy but...I'm not healthy.