About three seconds away from getting kicked out

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If you have any good advice on this, don't hesitate to speak up, but I don't really think its a situation that you can help.

Here's what happened. For as long as I can remember my parents and I have been at each others throats. I'm not sure exactly why. They think I'm nothing but rude toward them, and while I'll admit sometimes I lose my cool and get into it with them, there are times when I'll be perfectly respectful and yet they will be downright rude to me. They are conservative Christians and believe that, thanks to the "Honor thy father and mother" commandment means that they can be absolutely bitchy to me and I don't have the right to b***h back at them no matter what they say to me. Well, personality wise if someone gives me BS I believe I am within my right to give it back. So every now and then they'll find something I didn't help them with around the house or that I didn't clean up (which happens often because of my ADD tendencies, I don't pay attention half the time) and they'll start bitching and being downright rude to me. I've put up with bullies and douchebag teachers doing this to me my whole life, and I'm not the kind of person who takes it lying down. Of course, once I do b***h back at them they get even madder. They fail to realize that I'll do anything they ask of me at any time provided they aren't rude.

Well, things came to a head today and my mom pretty much told me that I was welcome to leave and that she'd prefer it if I left the house. Now I am 18 but I am still financially dependent, I have job interviews coming up in about a week or so but other than that I have no income and no place to live outside of my parents house. So if she were to make good on her threat and kick me out, I would pretty much be dead. At the time she said this, I was extremely pissed off for a number of reasons, and finally I snapped and told her that I was going to leave. I packed up a weeks worth of clothes and some bathroom items into a rolling luggage carrier and tethered it to my bike, then went back to say goodbye to my dog, my cat, and my little sister. As I was leaving, my dad came out and told me to give him my cellphone so that he could take it off of the mobile plan once I was gone. I told him to wait a minute, then called my long dist girlfriend on the phone to tell her I wouldn't be able to talk for a while and told her the situation. She started to cry and tried to convince me to stay.

Well, my gf has lived on the streets before and she was able to use some cold, hard logic to calm me down. I went back in and told my parents (much to their dismay, I'm sure) that I was staying until I could get a job and find a place to live. I pretty much had to apologize on my knees to get them to go with it, too. Now I'm back in, but given my parent's current mood, all it's going to take is one misunderstanding and they'll kick me out for good. I wouldn't hesitate to leave if I had money and a place to stay, but I don't. I might have it in about half a year or so, but I'm worried that before that happens, either a) Im going to slip up, or b) my mom is going to interpret something perfectly normal as an attempt to antagonize her (shes done it before.) And if I end up on the streets as is, I'm twelve kinds of screwed.

It can be difficult to live in a family where tension between the parents is constant. I have learnt from experience that as another member of such a household, a lot of frustration and ill feeling will be focussed towards you, the child. Living in such an environment is tough. If you can leave, then do so. I wish I could but my circumstances, are just not right for it to be realistic.


Another thing I've learnt: things won't change for the better unless you make an effort. Whether that effort is in trying to be financially independent or to be someone who never gets in the way of his parents. I got hell from my father for most of my life. All I can really do, is make a decision not be someone distracted by petty feuds and circumstances which are not my fault. If my parents have some issues between themselves, why should I be brought into it?

Good luck, I know how hard it can be.

It seems that they are very selective in their Bible-reading. They have missed passages like Col 3:21, for example.

Perhaps you could ask them to explain that verse to you?

I'm fairly sure that that would be a really bad idea given the circumstaces mentioned. Perhaps when OP has his own place and is leaving. Good luck in your interviews Roxas_XIII.

Do you have an uncle, aunt, grandparents or cousins you could stay with while you go job hunting? Since they are relatives, they will see things from your parents' side more easily than from yours. However, they aren't your parents so they won't have all the emotional baggage that comes between parents and teens.

So sorry that is happening. I have seen the "Obey thy father and mother" used wrong many times. And to get on your knees to stay?! .... ouch..

yes. Parents' personal problems are often the cause. So yeah... WHY? why o... why o..

If we had still been living in Tennessee where we had lived until May of this year, I maybe could've stayed with the grandparents one town over in Oakland. Unfortunately, we chose that month to move to Laramie, Wyoming. My closest relatives are my uncles, one lives in Longmont, CO and the other in Boulder. It takes two hours by car just to get to their places.

But thanks everyone for the good luck on my job interviews. It's actually a position with the University Disability Support Services at my college. The job requires that you be skilled with computers and good working with disabled students. I've never had a paying job before, but I've had volunteer experiences that I was able to put on my resume, I think I would be a good match for this job as far as skills and previous experience goes.

It's only part time ($8 an hour at 10-15 hours a week), but hopefully it will give me some degree of independence financially, and I can work from there.

Its better than nothing, although, as a courtesy clerk at a store in Red Deer I make almost 11 an hour just fetching baskets and putting unwanted items away.
You could also try applying for disability benefits to help with your income.


As far as the whole religion thing goes, it is quite obvious that religion is a cause for many disputes and tensions and problems.

Do you have any items of worth that you don't need that you can sell (perhaps on ebay or craigslist)? If I were you, I'd start quietly selling anything valuable I didn't really want or need so I'd have buffer money in case they suddenly kicked me out.

Also, consider keeping your expenses down if you can so you can save more. Can you mow lawns, walk dogs, do odd jobs, etc. for fast cash to put away until (or in addition) to getting a job?

Depending on your area, you might be able to get money selling metal and cans to a metal recycler too. If you have good quality clothes in nice condition, some vintage stores will actually pay a little for them. It adds up.

If you can't get a decent job right away (the economy sucks), consider temporarily working in a restaurant so that if your parents kick you out, at least you will have a source of free or cheap food.

Just giving you a few options.

My parents were manipulative like that. They wanted to dump me out suddenly and set me up to fail (then blame me when I did). I was far from a badass in high school (I was in the Honor Society) but my parents had no sense of proportion. If my room wasn't clean or I came home 5 minutes late, the threats and high drama would start.