Moving on

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I have trouble moving on from simple mistakes, misunderstandings and small stressful situations in general. How do I move on. That's the part that makes the past situations more stressful than it already is, it never ends the situation. How do I move on?

Mindset is a great way to think about moving on. You should try thinking about things that you are doing right and fix the mistakes. That way, you'll know better next time.

Okay so think positive, know what I'm doing right, and try to fix it from my behalf. So in other words I'm only responsible for myself and not for other people, right?

I have this same problem that Ericc describes, and in my experience, the "think positively" etc. stuff doesn't really help. IN my case it's usually with my having doen something wrong and then fearing that someone will be angry or I'll be punished/reprimanded. I can usually stop myself from repeating the same thing over and over (which I used to do), but I have to hear at least once in every situation that it is now not a problem anymore, or if it is still a problem, how I should be settlign it, etc.

It usually helps if someone else tells you that everything is okay because it gives the feeling that your not alone, your not crazy, someone actually agrees with you.

Thanks about that advice about seeing what you did and act to make the problem better. I feel sometimes I have to look at the 2D flat situation and make it 3D in order to understand the situation and make it better (aka need details in order to understand)

I'm not sure if the problem ever really goes away so much as you just learn how to minimize it and deal with it better. I spent a good two years doing CBT (one hour a week for the first year or so, even) and even now I still have this happen to me. The difference is I've learned better how to take a mental step back and look at things logically. Then I usually can see right away that my emotions and my reactions are completely illogical and totally useless, and they start to subside.

Maybe it helps that I used to be a Trekkie...I think Mr. Spock had some right ideas.

personally, i never said "think positively"

just change your mindset.

think more negatively, if that helps, just:

Get Used To Dissapointment. REALIZE what REALITY is about.

there is NO pause function, NO rewind function, NO function whatsoever that will EDIT reality that has allready happened, so...
knowing this
what DO you get from lingering w past events? NOTHING

you must, not just know this, but truly REALIZE it. like a tattoo, it must be a fact of reality FOR YOU.

then you can move on, simply because you have no need to waste time and effort w lingering in the past.

My son will stop what ever he is doing to berate himself repeatedly if he makes a mistake. He yells, claims he is the worst person, smacks himself in the head...

All that seems to work is physically taking a hold of his shoulders, looking him in the eye and telling him he has to calm down because he can't fix what ever it was if he is freaking out. I am hoping that in time he will be able to "self soothe", telling himself that people make mistakes and it isn't the end of the world.

I have trouble moving on sometimes. But it's not all for nothing, sometimes if you do stuff so many times you eventually learn how not to do it.

hm. i dont know, maybe some alzheimers will help. i have a bad memory and it seems to help me out