Irritated.

Post Reply New Topic

There's no point of me posting on here because people will ignore them. I see this happen on a lot of forums where newbies usually get ignored while attention whores with a thousand posts gets kudos for saying even the simplest thing. That is why I absolutely hate online forums.

I foolishly thought this forum would be different, but I was wrong. This forum is like all others: Boring, unfriendly, and filled with attention whores. I will not make idle threats, just a simple statement:

I do not think half of this site's users are mentally troubled at all. Hell, I think most of the sob stories I have seen are made up just to get attention.

It takes a while to get a true feel for a forum. I have been posting on here for nearly 5 years. Yes, I felt like you for a while. Periodically, I would leave, disgusted with certain attention whores. (Thank God a lot of them have left this place) But what I learned, is that as long as I don't become emotionally invested with the people here, I can do just fine on this site. Being a newbie, though, leaves you particularly vulnerable, I am sure. I hope you stick around and give WP a chance.

Sometimes it's a matter of timing. People look at the front page first and if a lot of people are posting new topics the previous topics are moved to the discussion index page. I don't remember seeing any posts by you so I'm thinking that might have happened. I have not been posting here very long (6 months) and when I saw a topic I had posted disappear I thought it had been deleted and I didn't know why. I hadn't found the forum index page yet. This is the first forum I've ever been on. I feel like a second class citizen on Facebook though and these are people I know personally! Anyway, stick around, I truly don't believe anyone is intentionally made to feel unwelcome here. It's counter-intuitive. We've all been the victims of that kind of behavior.

I have made about 350 posts ( I actually have no clue exactly how many) and until I'd made about 200 of them I got hardly any interaction. All I can say is I started to when I posted some good polls (IMO of course).

That led to being into reading about some of the "bad" situations some posters were experiencing, and giving comfort/advice, then standing my ground in the religion forum, then giving dating advice, interacting with a few people, keeping at it, and eventually coming to feel welcome.

It's gradual, and BTW compared with this site places like cl are hell-holes; if you don't think so, just go to the Romantic Forum and tell them you have Asperger's and suck at social interaction - - - and see what happens to you there - they'll make you feel like you wish you'd never been born I guarantee.

I'm sorry that you're feeling left out Celtic Frost. I think I understand your frustration. It is true that at first, people don't respond to new posters as much. I'm guessing that it has something to do with not knowing them, and that they possibly are like strangers. The more that you post, the more people will get to know you, and the more replies you'll get. People that identify with your posts will begin to remember your username, and avatar, and make more of a point to read, and reply to you.

I think this is an issue that really gets under most aspies skin, because (at least I know for myself) we feel left out, and ignored so much in real life that it feels 10 times worse when we feel that way, even among other people on the spectrum.

I don't think that there are too many people making things up, on here. I've only seen a few, and usually I call them on it, even if it makes my opinion quite unpopular, and unsupportive. What I do think happens is that there are some on here that have more of an aggressive, outgoing personality that seems to attract others. It does, at times, feel like I'm in high school again, trying to understand how some posters can be so childish, rude, and nasty, but still have a loyal following of people that will stick up for them, even when i know that the offense they committed would not be tolerated if they were less popular. I really don't understand it, but I digress.

I really do hope that you'll stick around, and keep posting.

Celtic Frost, I felt the same. Although as a disclaimer, anywhere "new" I go, with people who are already in residence....it always seems cliquey. I initially felt I had to refer to being officially dx'd as well, and went through the same phase of "What, some of these people don't even have a diagnosis ". Then you realise some people have a tough time getting diagnosed or can't afford it.

I'm not one of the old timers (less than a year here), I don't have a high post count, and when certain in jokes run on I still feel left out. I've realised high post count means nothing now as far as informative content goes, sometimes in fact if the same name is on a thread too often I miss updates on it because the same name is there over and over.

Anyway, it may not be my "home" but welcome, you have as much right to be here as anyone else and hopefully you'll feel free to participate and contribute. Hope you get what you need from here, and the Haven has been a godsend for me, hopefully you'll find the same.