I have just been hurt really badly...

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Why is it whenever things couldn't get any better for me, something has to go horribly wrong? That's the story of 2009.

Just a week and a half ago, I was extremely happy with life. I posted in the Members Only forum about how excited I was to do pageants and be in a documentary about it. Not long later, all of that was taken away from me. Unfortunately, I cannot go into details as a certain someone is threatening to sue. This feud had been going on for a week and she topped it off last night.

As if that wasn't already bad enough, by bf (who I'd known for 2.5 years) dumped me last night, too. It wasn't even two hours after that. We were PMing each other about the lawsuit thing and he was comforting me through that and then the next thing I know, he calls me and says it's over!! He still wants to be good friends, but we all know that that just isn't the same. Both Christmas and my 21st birthday are within this week. And he goes and does that. How mean is that?

Here's a little background about him. I live in Indiana and he lives in Virginia. We met over the internet originally (on a different forum) and eventually met each other in person. I've stayed over at his house and he's stayed over at mine. He was coming back over on the 27th for my birthday the next day and was planning on staying through the 2nd. He still may come since he already has the plane tickets and scheduled to take time off of work, but just as a friend. I honestly don't know if it's going to work, but I really don't want to spend my 21st birthday utterly depressed like how I am now. I've been looking forward to this day ever since I was very little. It's especially hard since we had everything planned out in life and we were going to be one step closer to achieving my biggest dream- to have my own house and my own family. Even though I've grown up in a well-off lifestyle, I want to have something I can call my own. I'm honestly very bored with life right now. I don't have a job, I'm not in school, I'm still living with my mom, and all I really do all day is shopping and watching TV and going online.

Things started out just fine yesterday (My mom and I saw "Princess and the Frog"-- very cute movie btw) and went shopping, one of my favorite things to do. All of this happened late in the evening. Oh, and due to the whole lawsuit-that-may-happen thing, I had to cut all of my connections to that person and that means all of my online friends as well. So I didn't have them to talk to anymore and I have no real life friends in the area. Even my mom has noticed that no one hangs out with each other around here past the age of eight. Everyone just does thier own thing.

I am currently not in school but I do want to go back. The problem is, the college I really, really wanted to go to is too expensive ($37,000 for two years without financial aid) and the community college I had gone to didn't work out- the classes were too hard and I was getting stuck and the other students and I couldn't relate at all. I went to a dental assisting school after that and the last thing that did was work out for me. And I can't find a job to save my life. The unemployment rate in my area is high and if I can't even get a job during the holidays, I'm screwed. I always get beat by someone with more experience, despite my sometimes absolutely perfect job interviews. And I'm not about to work at Wal-Mart or McDonalds. I'm sorry (especially to those who do work there) but I am not going to degrade myself to that level. It'd look absolutely terrible seeing that job on my application next to my better previous one. Yes, I will admit I can be a snob, but there are some things that just aren't worth it and that's one of them.

So, as you see, I do have a lot on my plate right now. Everything just came up so suddenly that it's really hard to cope. I don't want to be depressed. I want to be happy again...

You can take space filler jobs, and then leave them out as your resume bulks out.

My husband was unemployed after graduation, took a job opening envelopes for two hours an evening with the Royal Horticultural Society. Within weeks, he was working on their computer team, and being sent around the country to fix their computers at the various sites. He made innovations in the ticket issuing for the Chelsea Flower Show, which is THE main flower show in England. All this from opening envelopes, which is less skilled than working at some of the places you mentioned.

I'm sorry about your loss.

Have 1million internet hugs from me.

I'm not even Able to work in places outside
of my type match. ie McD's or wal mart,
they need people to do those jobs or the
store would collapse, but they would sure
hate having Me work for them, because I would
boogar it all up. I admire the guts of those
who can do those kind of jobs, I know I
could not.

I am only able of doing ONE thing, One thing
and that is electronics and now, video editing which
is close enough to electronics.

If it isn't in my type match, I skroo it all up
to the point that everyone at that jobs hates
me, so I learnt to stay away from the jobs
that I cannot do and was labeled "handicapped".

My dad still does not get why I cannot
"push a broom". I know why I can't,
I can't do it HIS way, I can do it MY
way, and MY way isn't "right" I guess,
besides it isn't inside of my type match,
there are those who are Far better at it
than I am. The exception to this rule is
that I Can run a sweeping machine, dad
has no problem with me fixing up and using
an electric Clarke sweeping/mopping machine,l
of course I can use that, it is a machine,
I understand machines and how to use them.

Dad will never understand that.

Lightning88--That really stinks about the break-up. Break-ups are always rough and can be difficult to get through. The worst that I have ever felt in life has always been after a break-up.

Are you still going to be able to do pageants?

As far as school, it might be good to look into taking classes part-time, possibly at another community college. It would be less stressful, and allow you more time to focus on the courses that you take. Also, if the credits transfer, it could make the $37,000 a year college more economically feasible.

My advice is: take it one day at a time--things will get better. Keep looking for a job, and do some fun stuff to keep yourself busy and distracted.

I hope things get better for you.

--David

Update: Even though we were going to remain friends, he has been very spiteful towards me over the last few days and now we are no longer friends. This happened just fifty minutes before Christmas and just about three days until my birthday

Lightning88--I hope you had a merry Christmas and are doing better. Break-ups are always painful, especially around the holidays. It never helps when ex's are spiteful.

Again, Merry Christmas!

(Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to)

--David

Thanks, David. Christmas would've been just absolutely horrible if my cousins hadn't been there to cheer me up. They got me from not even being able to swallow my food from being so upset to laughing within a couple minutes. I'm definitely still upset with what happened and I should be. But at least they helped make my Christmas a happier one.

I am glad you had a great holiday. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I will be praying for you.

Thanks, Tim. Even though my birthday is tomorrow, I'm having my party today. It's just going to be me and my family. Hopefully my cousins (the ones from Christmas) will make it. I'm pretty sure their older brother and his girlfriend won't be here today because her baby's going to be born within the next week

I already couldn't get the party supplies I wanted for today so I'm sure that's not a good sign. I've definitely decided tomorrow I'm going shopping at the nicest mall in town, I'm going to a restaurant (TGI Friday's since they have delicious food imo) and I'm topping it off with a visit to a casino late in the evening. My dad was joking around saying I should wear my showgirl outfit, but I think that'd just look rediculous in Indiana lol Maybe in Las Vegas instead

The second restaurant I ate at (in the evening) on my birthday burned down last night It's our favorite one and we actually travel a bit to get there rather than just going to the closest one...

Lightning88--It really seems like a lot of things are going against you all at once. Things will get better.

How did your birthday go (and your New Years)?

--David

Tell me about it... And to top that off, now my ex-bf and I aren't even talking thanks to yet another huge arguement tonight. I only wanted to tell him what happened to the restaurant because he's been there and liked it a lot, too

As for my birthday, it was alright. But it didn't really seem any different than any other day. We went to two malls, two restaurants, and went to the casino. It was very cold outside and the temperature's only gotten lower since then. New Year's was depressing because I had no one to share it with and my mom just went to bed early that night.

The only good thing that's even happened in the middle of all of this is that I now have a new baby cousin. Sophie was born on New Year's day. I haven't seen her yet, but it is nice to know we have a new edition to the family.

Crap. The "certain someone" lady is still giving me problems even though I haven't talked to her in, like, three weeks. I'm extremely close to contacting the police on the issue. It has gotten that out of hand.