I don't know who to trust anymore

Post Reply New Topic

I haven't spoken to my parents in over a year and my in-laws for over 2 years. I found out my mother-in-law was gossiping about me behind my back. Then she would come over and pretend to be nice to me. She would say rotten things about our children. For example, our Asperger's son argued with his cousin. I disciplined him by taking him off to the side and making him sit quietly, or at least tried to. Then him and I ended up arguing. The parents of the cousin did nothing. I don't agree with their policies. If a kid is bad you at least need to talk to them about it. This happened a few times, because the cousins figured they could get away with it. He was like 10 or 11 at the time and still had stuffed animals. So right away she has ignorant comments about how the kids are disturbed because of me, he was too old for a bear, and other mean comments. Well I don't have time for people like that.

My parents are just as bad. They barely ever wanted to visit my sons, but would buy expensive gifts for my sister's son. Kids aren't dumb and they see how they get treated differently. Then they blamed me because I wasn't a stay at home mom and worked. Then said my husband should be supporting the family.

These are supposed to be the people who are on my side. I have no use for any of them now.

It is really upsetting because my husband still sees his parents for holidays, so all my holidays are ruined because I end up sitting home alone.

I can relate. I wish I knew what to say to make it better.
Some easy answer -- just do X...
Hanging out in a place like this helps you to think, and maybe find some answers.

How well do you get along with your sister when your parents are not around?
Do you have other siblings or close cousins?

I understand a little of what you're going through. My father and his side of the family are completely cut off from me now because I can't deal with their manipulations and lies. I hate being scared, not knowing what the hell they want from me and not being able to please even though I'm trying so hard.

i don't know what to tell you. i hope things improve. i get confused/upset too when things aren't as they seem. (ex.: someone is nice to you in person, but gossiping behind your back.) it's difficult to confront, because it's so easily denied. and then things can get even more confusing...

It's a rough world, out there. You can't trust anybody.

I only have one sister, but don't get along with her anymore. She was recently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I never trusted her anyway because she always had so many boyfriends. The last time I asked her to babysit our youngest son was in 1999 (before I knew how sick she was). When we got home my son was locked out of the house, walking around the yard screaming wearing only a diaper in the snow. Her excuse was she fell asleep and the door locked by itself. I never asked her to babysit again. She didn't didn't get the hint and would still drop her kid off every weekend. She would go to the bar and pick up guys. In 2007 she asked if she could take my son Vincent who was 11 to see a movie with her son Alex who was 12 (I had quit watching him by then). I thought all 3 of them were going to the movie. She dropped the kids off at the movies while she sat in the bar. She is a selfish disgusting person.

My cousins want anything to do with me either. I have seen them out in public and said hello, but they turn their nose up and pretend they don't see me. Probably has a lot to do with how gross she is so they assume I'm like that.

How is Alex when his mother is not around?
Regardless of whether she thinks you're doing here a favor, or whether she deserves it,
maintaining that relationship with the boys will be a good thing later, if you can manage it.
He won't be attached to his mother forever.