My dad

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Does he get a THRILL or something out of making me upset and doing things unexpectedly? Today, I wanted to review job agencies and get ideas for what to mention on the phone. We did. Then, all of a sudden, he suggest I read like 5 books today (can't do it tomorrow <:( ), all of which don't help me except for one. Why can't he just stick to what I want to do instead of throwing all of these curveballs at me? Interview books don't help me; I'm an aspie; I'm bound to make some sort of goofy mistake at some point without even thinking about it. Those books are written for NTs, people who (supposedly) don't make goofy mistakes like I do. I'm an Aspie; I'm doomed to never get a job because I can't pass the ****ing interviewing process no matter how many interviews I take! Doesn't he get that? Most of the stuff I look at in job interview books are something like, "Whatever you do, don't say [insert option]" and make me go "duh!" and yet, when the interview for ME comes up, I could write my own ****ing book on what not to say.

Case-in-point:
I went to an interview for an insurance company that wanted me to do sales. I told them I wasn't afraid of what the job entailed (I wanted ANY job), and they told me that they'd send me a personality test. Well, during that interview, I made the mistake of telling them that I didn't have a car--I don't drive because I am scared of driving. Well, this set all type of alarm whistles off ("What are you going to do, take the bus?") And I told them not to worry about it. Well, gee, didn't work now, did it?

So instead, I am working for this s**t, 10-hour-a-week job with training at a work site where someone else who does similar work to me got a job and I didn't. And what did the trainers say? "We were wondering how you'd react to it?" Well **** YOU! Did you expect me to NOT be disappointed or something, to not question every last bit of praise I've been getting for my work site, all because I can't stuff envelopes and don't have an organized desk (btw, half that stuff on that desk isn't even mine!), and that I sometimes wait for them to get off the phone because I don't know what there is to do? OR, did you expect me to melt down in front of you guys? I don't melt down at just anything, and you're telling me that you expecting me to? Pardon me, but you're a program for people DISABILITIES. Yes, a majority of the workers there don't have Asperger's, but--and lemme emphasize this again--you're a program for people with DISABILITIES. You should KNOW that I don't melt down at just about everything -.-

I feel like I am doomed to run out of money and remained unemployed for the rest of my life, and those books of "Jobs for History majors," which about 90% of them require a higher degree than what I have, just depress me because it makes me think, "Gee, if only I was an NT, I would have a job right now and be going to graduate school to get a degree and achieve my dream job." BUT NO! I don't even have the will any more to go to grad school, basically because I know I won't like it there because I'm an aspie and as such cannot navigate social drama.

So dad, STOP DEPRESSING ME AND STOP DOING THINGS UNEXPECTEDLY! Really pisses me off! Sheesh!