flash back need to talk.

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Ok i think i am having a flash back right now.
I was triggered about 3 hours ago by violence on the tv. I wanted to hurt myself but i didn't because i am trying not to self harm anymore. so i screamed instead and turned up my tv real loud so i didn't hear the violence (the violence was coming from my parents tv.)


now the tv is off and i am very scared something bad is going to happen. it took me a few minutes to realize that this might be a flash back. i feel very scared, i feel tense like i am bracing for impact. i am afraid someone is going to die or someone is going to leave me.
i dont know if that is an ocd thought or a flash back.

I feel very scared, like i dont want to be alone. as soon as the tv went off i got really scared. like at any moment someone was going to come in here and hurt me.

I am rocking back and fourth mild hyperventilation.

what should i do? any suggestions to help me?

I feel i am scared of something in the past that i cant remember.
now i feel a little like crying but i cant.

oh i am scared. i could call someone but it is not that bad that i feel i should call and wake my boyfriend.

i was abused as a child a lot and i have undiagnosed ptsd.

i am going to be getting hypnotized by my therapist next week so i can start working on this trauma i cant remember. it keeps me up at night.

writing this helps.

i keep seeing an image of my dad reaching out to me from the dark and grabbing me. i know he abused me a lot as a kid.

i just need to talk right now so i can cope with this flash back till it subsides.

I've been there too hon.

Do your best to ride it out. Try to distract your mind from it until it stops. It's going to feel almost impossible to not think about it, but even having something going on in the background will distract your mind a little. Funny tv show, music that cheers you up, book you like, even though you don't feel like it, just anything to distract you even if just a little bit will help you get through it.

Breathe deep, try to relax your body too, it'll help calm your mind.

If you're seeing the flashback, don't close your eyes.

Flashbacks pass eventually. You can get through it. After it's over, get plenty of rest.

And you really should consider calling your boyfriend. Having someone understanding to help you calm down is the best thing. It helped me a lot when I was going through it. I'm sure he won't mind.

Thank you for posting. I have had lots of flash backs and i usually try to distract myself. but lately i have been trying to face the memories when i am able to. i dont really remember what i am flashing back to. i just feel terrified like someone is going to hurt me. i feel afraid like i am about to die. currently i keep seeing images of my dad garbing me but they aren't a real memories just a metaphor for something else. something i cant remember.

but if i keep running from my past i will never remember what happened. and i will be in an endless sprint running from my past. i want to face it so i can remember. only when i remember my past can i heal and put it in the past. then i can stop being afraid.

i know i need to move out of the home i was abused in so i can remember. but i will be moving in a few months.

i would call my boyfriend but usually do call him all hours of the night. and this is not a bad flash back, and i feel i can handle it by myself. i just wanted to talk here on wp. i figured it would be enough. besides he will be working all day and i want him to get a full nights sleep.

lol i just realized something funny.
I am watching the show flash forward to distract myself from my flashback.

wow what a funny contradiction....

I talked to my boyfriend for a few mins and i am feeling a bit better. thank you druidsbird for posting. it helped me to talk to someone during my flash back.

No problem. Glad I could help.

I hope everything goes ok with your hypnosis.

Thanks.

Wow, wish I'd read this one sooner. I hope you are able to figure out what you're trying to remember--pulling it into the light will rob it of its power. Calling your bf was definitely a good idea.

If you ever want to talk, please pm me. Hope you are able to get some sleep, feel better.

I have a lot of flashbacks, when I'm in some sort of department store, or another. I'll see a little child having a meltdown or a spell of some sort, and than his or her mother starts yelling at the poor thing. Or else that kid gets a spanking for letting his or her emotions show. That's when the flashbacks come. Another thing that triggers one of my flashbacks, is hearing a small child get yelled at, in the middle of the store, or in the washroom, for an accident that they had no control over. That's why they call them accidents, right? I've been having them, since I was working at the factory.

I just ride it out, and keep my feelings inside, when I'm out in public, with my friends.

I hate flashbacks. The past < Present

Thank you so much for all your kind responses!
its so nice that all of you care!
I am feeling better now. I'm a little sleep deprived but i wanted to get up so i will be tired enough to can sleep tonight.

I am sorry that some of you have this problem as well. for those of you who dont know about it , i created a thread for abuse survivors who want to talk and support each other. feel free to check it out.
abuse support thread

I am hopeful i will get to the bottom of this unresolved memory. i spent years trying to remember on my own but now i have decided it is time to use hypnosis. i was hesitant because each time i come close to remembering i have a break down for a while. i have committed myself each time the memory has tried to resurface because i felt a deep desire to run from something, and get to a safe place. but now i know what is happening and i feel i can face my fear. besides i had no supportive people in my life back then . now i have my godmother and just-you. they both understand me and will be supportive of me if i have a breakdown form the memories. and my therapist will be keeping a close eye on me for this very reason.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better, flashbacks were a major problem for me for a while as well. I don't know if we ever truly get to the point of not having things trigger our memories, but just keep trying to deal with them as they come. Ironically, I read a post on this site earlier that triggered me.

Even really unexpected things can trigger mine. The afternoon sunlight this time of year has a particular quality to it which triggers me, because my trauma happened near this time of year. Also, the sound of sprinklers triggers me. And whenever I see a short guy in black walking along the side of the road, that triggers me.

Thankfully my episodes are getting less intense and less frequent as time goes by. I might have one every 2-3 months now, and they're getting very mild. Whereas they used to be horrific all-nighters several times a week.

So there is definitely hope for improvement over time. Just hang in there guys.