Forced to do work downstairs, no more privacy

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Joined: 3 Oct 2009
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14 Jan 2011, 3:45 am

I like to do my drawing homework in the comfort of my room, where no threat can burst through. Where my cats can't bother me while I'm focused on making perfect lines in the cartoon characters I'm assigned to draw onto paper to make a 2d cartoon.

But recently, my mom forced me to drag my drafting table downstairs and work downstairs! I hate it! Cats playing, TV blasting CSI(and other overrated stuff these days), and my mom playing crap music on the stereo. I have overdue work because I sometimes fall back on turning my work in. I keep trying to make my cartoons perfected, and I felt un-comfortable every time I have to turn in bogus-unrefined work like my friends at school. I am really uncomfortable drawing downstairs in the living room and feel unsafe drawing here. I want to draw in the safety of my own room, where I can let my crazy imagination flow like a river.

Already, I had to give up my aviation interest. It was very hard to give up on something I love....

hale_bopp
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14 Jan 2011, 3:53 am

If your parents try to ruin your life, to hell with them. Have you thought about moving out?

Also you are an adult, tell them you will be working in your room. Don't ask them.

Atreides
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14 Jan 2011, 4:16 am

is there a rational reason why she brought your desk/table downstairs?
wouldn't she be open to change her mind?
if not, it might be time to start your teenage crisis even if it's a little late.

tweety_fan
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14 Jan 2011, 4:26 am

I would like to know why she brought the table downstairs.
is it due to the fact u were spending a lot of time upstairs?

LostAlien
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14 Jan 2011, 9:41 am

Kvornan wrote:

As the others have already asked, why did she make you bring your drafting table downstairs?

As regards your work, perhaps to explain that due to the distractions downstairs your work is suffering and you would really prefer to return to your room so you can catch up. Explaining this may help a little unless she is unreasonable.

leejosepho
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14 Jan 2011, 9:44 am

Kvornan wrote:

I have overdue work because ...

Resolve that problem and nobody will care where you do your work.

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ari_
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14 Jan 2011, 10:28 am

leejosepho wrote:

Kvornan wrote:

I have overdue work because ...

Resolve that problem and nobody will care where you do your work.

As he stated, his work gets overdue because he gets distracted. It's a little vicious circle.

Maybe offer to make a good agreement? She's doing this because she is worried about your work. This is not the best way to help you, but she probably doesn't realize that. So it's time to get a conversation going about this problem, and try to make her understand.

leejosepho
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14 Jan 2011, 10:37 am

ari_ wrote:

As he stated, his work gets overdue because he gets distracted.

No, the problem preceded external distractions ...

Kvornan wrote:

I like to do my drawing homework in the comfort of my room ... focused on making perfect lines ...

I keep trying to make my cartoons perfected, and I felt un-comfortable every time I have to turn in bogus-unrefined work like my friends at school.

His mother is not his problem.

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ari_
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14 Jan 2011, 11:10 am

I can quote selectively too.

Kvornan wrote:

But recently, my mom forced me to drag my drafting table downstairs and work downstairs! I hate it! Cats playing, TV blasting CSI(and other overrated stuff these days), and my mom playing crap music on the stereo. I have overdue work because I sometimes fall back on turning my work in.

So working downstairs isn't hurting his grades then? It may not be the first reason, but certainly isn't helping.

Kvornan wrote:

I am really uncomfortable drawing downstairs in the living room and feel unsafe drawing here. I want to draw in the safety of my own room, where I can let my crazy imagination flow like a river.

If his mother is making him do his drawing downstairs I do see a problem there. His mother may not intend to hurt him this way, but she is. So that's a problem and it needs a solution.

leejosepho
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14 Jan 2011, 11:15 am

ari_ wrote:

I can quote selectively too.

Sure, but for the same reason or purpose: clarity?

His mother's "solution" has not helped, we now see, but moving the drafting table back into his room would only leave him right where all of this began.

Surely you can see all this finger-pointing is not solving the actual problem!

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CockneyRebel
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14 Jan 2011, 2:16 pm

You should consider moving out. I wish I did, sooner.

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Moog
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14 Jan 2011, 3:15 pm

Maybe your mother thought you were spending too much time alone. Maybe she wanted to make you more 'part of the family'. Maybe you could ask.

Maybe you should express your concerns to her. Perhaps you are expecting others to understand your needs without expressing them. Mothers don't always realise how much we need our alone time. Perhaps compromise can be struck between you and your mother.

I feel a bit sad at all the instant 'move out' responses. What happened to communication and reconciliation? Moving out should be a last resort.

Anyway, hope you feel better, Kvornan.

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