Well, at least I have been able to get rid of some anger, but I'm still caught in the same old Catch 22.
I need more money and to get off Centrelink (disability pension). But, I need to get qualifications and leave my home area of Gippsland (anything east of Melburnian suburbs but south of the Murray, at least at the eastmost) as I know by my impatience and not being of the right temperament, I am unsuited to any kind of tradesman work or apprenticeships, which makes up a good 99.9% of all jobs available through Centrelink or otherwise in Gippsland that are in my view any good financially. But before I can leave Gippsland, I need more money.
Nothing is going anywhere, and though my parents are together and well-off financially thanks to my father's working very hard as a platform supervisor in the oil rigs in Bass Strait (off the south-eastern Australian coast, north of Tasmania), my father will not be working forever, and even if I do get a leg-up in leaving Gippsland, it would be selfish to ask for such as they have done much already. Moreover, they seem to have some hidden agenda that mandates me staying in their hometown, which is, (surprise surprise), in Gippsland. It seems like it is going to take a miracle for my life to go anywhere except down into a metaphorical black hole, even if I did attempt to change things by myself on my own power (which is the general expectation at least) - it seems the only thing left to do would be to make a deal with some sort of, well, generally nasty and downright evil being who I could make a deal with - and we all know (providing such things are the case) with my engine running, but something really evil at the driver's seat...
And I really don't want that.
28 Aug 2010, 6:02 am
