Sick and tired of deception

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I'm most likely going to boarding school next year. So, I'm in New England right now, getting ready to visit some schools.

Just to explain, I have five grandparents, since two of them got divorced and one's remarried.

My mom's parents are fine with the idea. I like both of them, and they like me in return. My dad's dad really can't stand changes in his routine. Or anyone else's. So, we still haven't told him about boarding school. My dad's mom and stepdad apparently didn't know, so they couldn't let it slip to his dad. But, dad called his mom, who realized he was in New England. Long story short, he had to tell her.

I spent twenty minutes on the phone with her. She and most people don't get along since she's incredibly self-centered. I spent most of those minutes listening to her talk about the new pictures in her bathroom. She then proceeded to offer to take me at every vacation, so she could take me "to Boston or Providence to get a haircut and buy new clothes". Most of these schools have uniforms and I hate haircuts. And I don't like her.

My dad's stepdad was in the room for the whole conversation. The only time he said anything was to say "Hello Trish". This is how most conversations with his family go.

So now I'm going down to visit my dad's dad. And he and I will have to explain that I'm going to look at boarding schools. And in three days, I'm having dinner with my dad's mom and stepdad in Exeter, NH.

I think I know how you feel. I made it a rule long ago that I will not allow anyone to force me to lie. No way, not how, not for any excuse. I can evade or withhold, but anyone who forces you to outright lie is not worth your time or consideration. The damage to your soul is not worth it, and they don't deserve that kind of sacrifice.

As for spending vacation time with people you can't stand, DON'T. Old people know that you have better things to do. If they push it and pretend that you're hurting their feelings, don't fall for it. The word is "disingenuous." It's just another kind of lie. Again, they don't deserve it.

Yeah I don't understand why NT's feel the need to do this.

And sometimes about the most arbitrary things.

Just speak up for yourself. If you don't want to spend your vacations with your grandmother, tell her you already have other plans.

*hugs* That sucks. Wish I had some advice to offer. At least, in the grand scheme of things, it could be worse.

I've tried. We all have. She really doesn't understand that concept. My mom is annoyed by her, and my dad is amused for the most part by her. There's really no way out of these things though, at least 'till I'm 18.

Most weeks, I sigh and deal with it. But I'm already doing 8 school interviews in five days. The one redeeming thing is that I can guarantee my dad will be happy at the end. He tends to give me stuff if I do a lot of this socializing stuff well. I'm guessing I'll get a computer game and a $25 gift card, most likely. All I have to do is ask on Thursday or Friday.

My sympathies.

I have always related to the Thermians (aliens) in the movie Galaxy Quest:

"Ah, you speak of...deception, lies. We have only recently become aware of these concepts. ... It is a concept we are beginning to learn at some great cost."

I can't help but to snicker over how the NTs in our lives try to mold us, instead of just letting us be. I have an idea of what you're going through. I've dealt with it in 1998 and again, early last Fall. Not so much last Fall, but it sure felt that way. I hope that your parents soon realize that you're almost an adult and that you have a mind of your own.