Thinking about firing my shrink

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I enter therapy almost a year ago. After a year, I am feeling little or no improvement. I don't think my therapist get's me. He doesn't want to deal with issues that really matter to me. I suggested to him right at the beginning that I might have AS and wanted to get tested. He said he was not an expert and nothing has ever become of it. During the course of therapy, I had a failed relationship with a woman which he has seemed to take little interest in listening. He wants to keep talking about the past. He keeps telling me that I'm being hard on myself, when I don't see this myself. When I ask for examples, he can't come up with any. He keeps wanting me to accept things, things I want to change but have trouble finding the courage (Serenity Prayer reference there). This makes me feel as though he has more wisdom than me. I don't feel he trusts me.

I kept with him hoping things would get better. I took his advise on occasion only to find it did little or nothing to help. Upon his prompting, I took a community ed class. This only seemed to make things feel better while I was actually in the class, but the moment I walked out the school I was back in the dumps. It just seems that he gives me canned answers that I could read in any book from the self help section.

Mostly, it seems as though he doesn't understand that I have a unique problem unique to me. I feel like he read my case history before I ever stepped into his office and decided what my problem was and how to treat me. It's like someone going into the doctor saying they have a hurt knee and the doctor looks at their chart to find out they had heart problems in the past so he puts them on heart pressure medication without ever looking at the knee.

I'm a firm believer in "working things out" but I don't think that's going to happen here. Maybe him and I need couples counseling.

I just don't know where to go from here.

Well, the Therapist Slayer knows....fire him at once. You can do better (and he cannot). Another one bites the dust, Therapist Slayer style.

Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. No need to be coy, Roy......50 ways to lose your therapist. No need to discuss much, just drop off the key, Lee - - and get yourself free.

And tell the Therapist Slayer bids him adieu

Hands off the Aspie, psych.

It's funny. One of the things that I wanted to work on entering therapy was expecting better for myself. I guess in an ironic way, that's what I'm doing here. I have to believe that there are good therapists out there. I haven't been successful in finding them. There was one whom I saw once. He was good and to the point. But he didn't take my insurance. I just feel like I've wasted a lot of time and really have gotten know where. I know I'm a challenging client. I'm just not that challenging.

I can do better. I deserve better.

You know, I think you're right. (I did not mean to be facetious; your query is very important). Since you've been with him quite a while and invested yourself, then best to leave now. He should not treat you in this way and no client "owes" their therapist an explanatory lesson. IMO, Aspies are challenging (like that quality)! And many cannot keep up.

Anyway, good luck - you seem very introspective and therefore may not need a therapist. Just supposition.

One of the biggest problems I have is I tend to obsess. The traditional view is that all obsessions (or at least obsessions that the therapists does not understand) need to be cured. The therapist doesn't understand the obsession or myopathy or hyperfocussing and treats them as a abnormality. But for me, some obsession is quite normal and even beneficial.

I wonder if therapists themselves are hyperfocused on labeling people OCD.

I still need someone to talk to and work on some issues with. I'm wondering if someone who takes more of a life coaching approach might have some benefits.

That might be an idea. Also, on the Wrong Planet in the Parents' Discussion there is a *sticky* thread about recommended clinicians in plenty of geographical locations around the globe which may have suggestions.

EDIT: Here's the link: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt66842.html

I guess choosing the right therapist is a personal choice, of course, but best to shop around. As another WP inhabitant advised, we are actually more choosey shopping for a pricey winter sweater. Since you'll be spending your time and effort on a potential therapist, it's important to make an informed choice. You certainly may quiz a potential therapist, asking him/her about their approach and background. Or just a preliminary appointment (oftentimes they do not charge for the 1st).

AS overlaps quite a lot with OCD. Although I'm not OC, I am obsessive, especially of my own field and interests. Maybe you could find someone with experience in Autism/AS so they understand your need better.

I've ended up firing my shrink after 2 summers of going nowhere. That was 10 years ago and her and I never saw eye to eye.

It is difficult for NT therapists to treat us. They don't understand our world.

We see things around us that they can not understand.

Thanks all for your words. I have a session on Monday where I will tell him. He may have some resources, but with my history with him I won't hold my breath.

I haven't ever been diagnosed with AS, but my nephew has. My sister has been helpful, but she lives in a different state. I just want to find the right situation. I hope I can.

I want to start making the kind of changes I want to make. Not the kind of changes that my therapist thinks I should make. That's the bottom line.

I did it. I really don't feel any different and I feel alone right now. He did admit that he may have misunderstood me from the beginning, especially when it came to AS. I jsut wish it had worked out differently.

Yay! High 5. And you don't need to impresss him.....

Then, the Therapist Slayer is merciless