i dont know what to do

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I keep having these roundabout fights with my parents and no matter how hard i try to talk about it, or make it better i end up thinking about every time that we have had these fights before and then i make myself more upset which makes my parents angry and they start shouting (they say their not shouting but there definatly raising their voices at any rate) then i start to hyperventilate, sob and cant talk properly and and they yell because they think im faking it (i dont control my emotions darn it, they control me!) and then i get sent outside or to my room, like right now.

Todays fight was about school work. Im starting year twelve and yes i know that this is a very important year so you dont need to tell me. I was bullied and ostracized all through primary school and especially during years 9 and 10 where it was so bad that my drive to do anything constructive or important just shut down and i couldnt care less about school, i coasted and scraped past, i didnt even bother to finish my art assignment or even hand in the unfinished painting because i had absolutly no motivation at all. I dont think that mum or dad really understood how much i hated that place, they just brushed it of, even when i got punched in the face they just helped me right up an incident report letter to give to the coordinater at school and i just had to go back to school and get bullied again. Im not blaming them for my problems but i honestly think that they dont even try to understand how i feel sometimes, it's really frustrating and it makes me sad. But back on topic im still struggling with my lack of motivation issues and my parents get mad because they dont think im doing enough study/schoolwork when i am at home. I know that their probibly right on that account, because last year i did little home study (but i did get very good marks, i have a good memory) but its like they expect me to just pick myself up and fix all of my problems in a day, and no matter how many times i remind myself that i should, and i could and i really should stop procrastinating and get things done NOW but i just cant do it. I cant fix my problems on my own and they act like i can.

I have a psychiatrist (i think thats the right word) he is very good but he only focus's on school based counciling and i know what i should be doing, it doing it that is the issue and i dont know how to explain it because the words i form in my head never come out of my mouth in the right way. I dont think that anyone understands that its not the theory and the study thats the problem, the problem is my stupid apathetic head! and i just cant do anything.

Please help

I think the main problem is the fact your parents aren't being understanding. You seem to have done well to hve gotten this far - have you thought about leaving school and getting a job?

I dont think i should do that, i mean ive come this far haven't i? My parents do love and support me, just to clarify, but these fights keep happening more and more often and i dont like it. I know that on many levels that they are right, but i just want them to understand but how can i do that when i dont understand? im really confused and frustrated.