distressed and angry about bad aspie relationship

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You know how a draining abusive person is worse when they are having a hard time, suicidal, life is on top of them, etc. Thats the hardest thing, cause they need help then, but thats when their behaviour is worse, and you want to leave them,

but you can leave them then, because that would mean abandoning them when thye are suicidal and need you,

but the time when you should leave them, when they are strong and will cope, is when you don't want to, cause they are nice to be with then. That is the worst part.

My Ex Gf is really crazy and histrionic, she has kids (not mine) and is being investigated by social services for the last couple years for not "meeting their needs", it always makes her angry and down and suicidal,

she wants me to support her, but is always sh***y to me, every time something goes wrong (ie, something with nothing to do with me) she punishes me for it and shouts and ignores me, as if it was my fault.

then afterwards, she alternates between apologising for it and saying "I'm sorry im crazy" or minimizing and saying im just too sensitive and cant cope with anything, that im a tyrant who demands everyone around me is happy.

Not true, i just dont want to be punished and made to feel guilty and hurt every time something bad happens, that isnt my fault, I want her to at least TRY to deal with it without being histrionic, losing control and "emotionaly punishing" me.

Nothing I do in the bad times is right, if i talk and try to help she shouts its wrong and that i should keep out, if i stand back and give her space she shouts that i should have helped, if i hug her and try comfort her she freezes up and pulls away with a look of wide eyed fear and rage, if i dont try comfort her and give space she shouts i dont care.

its gone on like this for ages now, but she always gets me back when i leave her by making me feel sad and scared and miss her, "come back i need you im dying without you please".

but when im with her, she always says i should leave, says im not suited to her and not happy (i would be if she would stop going on like that and hurting me), says i'd probably cheat on her, says things like "when you sleep with someone else at least promise to tell me" though i never would, goes on about how i must be infaithful etc.

I just always fear the next thing annoying her and going wrong, cause i know ill be punished for it, and then if i am she says im too sensitive and a tyrant, then when i leave she calls crying and begging "sorry im so mentally il i promise ill try to control it" and i come back.

So I have to cope with all the things her disturbed kids too (running away, shaving their head) AND being treated nastily on top of it all. where she gets to cope with it easliy and calm down by being nasty to me

When i complain about her behaviour and how abusive she is she always says in a sad, defeated voice, "im sorry im so crap, im sorry im so mentally ill, im sorry im too crap to make you happy, your right i should die, i cant be with anyone im sorry for being such a failure," and then starts going on about what a failure she is and how shes never been able to hold down a job or finish school cause of her problems,

so then i feel really sad and guilty and spend the rest of the day apoligising to her and trying to make her feel better, even though she was the one who hurt me!

I feel guilty complaing about her behavior to her when she is going through a crisis or drama, but shes ALWAYS going through a crisis or drama that makes her suicidal and means i cant complain or have hurts of my own as it will make it worse for her "already not coping". agh!

i guess some people are just nuts i know its not their fault but im not prepeared to be treated badly by disturbed people anymore, i just want to live my life.

sounds like your better off with out her! What a horrid woman, your very lucky to have escaped.

You will just have to be firm when she begs you to come back, make sure you block her mobile and email, just dont talk to her.

Its best not to settle for someone you dont like, you deserve to have someone who treats you well and makes you happy. You sound like a very nice and kind man so you should have no problem getting someone new who will make you happy.

you were screaming, shaking the can into my face violently, screaming "why did you do this, why did you do this" and then let the kids join in shouting at me. Because you had just come back from the doctor and he had been rude to you. You did not " only say, can you not put it in the recycling unwashed". If that is how you remember it your lack of self awareness is very severe.

Should you really be having a domestic where everyone can read it? :\

find another twaT to bully when the DR is rude to you.

you keep apoligising and then doing again whenever a DR, social worker or teacher is nasty to you.

just leave me alone

im a nervous wreck. ive had enough of everything. ive lost all my confidence and drive for it.

of course i wil have to suit myself from now on. as i am a violent now i would have to hit any woman who tried to suit me, and noone would stand for that.

i just cant go on like this, i dont know what to do. i dont want to be angry and complaining all the time, i want to be peaceful.