I just don't understand people =[

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I just need to vent a bit because my heart is full and I'm depressed. I've recently been diagnosed but I've been self diagnosed for about two years now. Just a little background, I used to live in Jamaica and as an aspie I wasn't picked on or made fun of because bullies aren't part of our culture, not in the school system anyway. I seem to have a knack for grasping things quickly so in school I've never failed an exam nor have I ever studied for one, what I failed was the test of being sociable but I had some really close friends so that was not a problem. I must say I'm obsessed with social interactions as a science (lucky me) so I know the theory of it. I literally read how to's and books about interaction. I got depressed a lot after my parents divorced and contemplated suicide a good few times but I couldn't kill myself knowing theres at least 0.001% chance I can help someone who is also depressed and to this day thats still my mission. There are a lot of terrible things that happened to me and terrible things I did that haunts me to this day but I digress. Whats on my mind is that my aunt wanted my family (my mom, younger brother and myself) to live with her in Florida and she was so eager for us to migrate so we did. After we lived with her family for a few months she made a true 180 in her attitude and started pressing us to get jobs (we applied to 20 places each but to her we weren't trying hard enough) and she stopped buying the necessities such as food and she would eat out and every now and then she would call a family meeting to criticize how I don't smile or talk to people much so I told her of my diagnosis but she ignorantly said I'm not trying hard enough. Long story short my we moved out of her house to New York, then to Philadelphia then to Palm Bay and even here she still wants to harass us. Why wont she just leave us alone? I haven't tried to contact her but she keeps trying to stop our efforts. I haven't spoken to any of my close friends in months and I have terrible headaches and memory loss due to a condition. Mind you, I'm not a pity case but I just wake up with an ominous feeling and I'm so depressed. I doubt anyone will read this long post. I don't know why I'm putting it up.

Coming from a different culture must make it even more difficult to read body language and other nonverbal cues that are difficult for Aspies to begin with. Of the different places you have lived in the U.S. has any one place so far been better than others?

It was interesting and heartening to read about the lack of bullying in Jamaica. Why do you think that is? How might we make that work in the U.S. (and other places)?

I like Philadelphia the most but mostly because the person we stayed with is very direct, she will say exactly whats on her mind so I'm more at ease knowing just how she feels. The city itself is nice too, not as busy as New York but not as deserted as Florida. I want to return there asap. There is no bullying in Jamaica because there is sort of a "You don't touch me I don't touch you" thing about the society. Becuase its hard to tell who has connections to who. For example, if a kid gets bullied today, the next day he may return with some "friends" to retaliate or even after school is out. Truth is not many people have these connections but it is a very real possibility so most people either get along or just avoid each other altogether so no bullying. I wouldn't advise other countries to do this though lol

I have had to tell one aunt that until she
stops it, that I will hate her.

Stupidest person I know in my family,
she did not get that she was hurting me,
making false acusings and just putting me
in a box and not accepting me, so I said
"Until you accept me for who I am,
I hate you, you are not my aunt."

She practically went nuts so I got
up and left and screaled the tyres
and roared out of there, never spoke
to her since, mom don't critisise me
for it, she wishes I would not do this
but understands that its the way I am.

My decishousn still stands, until she
pulls her head out of her bum, I hate
her and I won't talk to her.

I tried plenty hard and she won't
accept it, she just wants to be a
poopyfaced beanhatch booger eater
if you ask me.

I am good enouf for mum, why not her?
Who knows and who gives a poop, she
isn't part of my life.

I'll bet that bullying is the worst in the United States, mainly because the United States is all about competition, not just in a culture of sports, but the whole system of capitalism promotes aggressiveness and putting people out of business, as in total domination. Like a UFC fight (which is becoming more and more popular, no coincidence there) So of course bullying is going to get worse and worse as the culture degrades to barbarism.

Any culture can be evaluated by how the people entertain themselves. We are a war-like people that thrives on competition and winning, whether it's winning a football game or an argument.

Thanks for sharing your story. I neither get your aunts actions, but maybe you could ask here what's up with that.

I do understand the social skills issues you face, very familiar topic here .

I hope you have something that makes you happy to fight these emotional troubles.

Hope it helps!

Cheerfully,
Wallourdes

I hate when people say this. It's hard to try when you don't have the skills to do it. People need to get a clue.

I don't have anything that could be of assistance right now and as you can imagine I'm in a very drained state. I could ask her but I don't think I can go through that emotional encounter right now. I would rather not speak to her for the time being.



Yes, I was simply amazed that one as intelligent as her could not distinguish between condition and decision. I merely showed my discontent by ending the conversation.

It is interesting that you should say that. What you described was one of the first things I noticed about the United States. Even the youngest seem so competitive, I've had the pleasure of playing in a football (soccer to Americans) game and the players that were not so experienced were often told they sucked at it whereas in my home country and in England I noticed people would rather encourage you to continue playing and this will lead to improvement. I mean not to bash Americans and if I caused offence I offer my sincere apologies. Just an observation and I dare not say this is the case for every single American.