So helpful

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Someone on WP suggested the following book.

http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Ove ... 062&sr=8-1

I am almost done with it. It has been amazing understanding my parents behavior better etc. I am also in the process understanding my own behavior better. Most of my behaviors stem from them. It has been a very helpful book. It's hard learning you aren't alone that other adult children have dealt with parents like mine and even in therapy sessions going by the book those parents had the same outburst reaction and distancing that I know my parents would have. Sure moms threats against my life are major but like the book mentions I fear I'll tear my family apart by saying anything I know I will!! !!

The negativity from them the verbal abuse etc. has been real hurtful through out my life. One part that resignated with me is constantly looking for approval which I have done. I seek it anywhere from a teacher/friend etc. which is so true I long for niceness and someone to treat me with respect and nicely. I relate so much of my life and my parents toxic behavior to this book. If it wasn't for my nephew/little sisters I can imagine cutting TOTAL ties but I know like the book says about siblings they will break away/hate you/distance themselves etc. which is so true to my life. It's is a very eye opening book. Just thought I'd share that.

Do your parents behave the way they do towards your siblings or just you? What about the older sibling? How do/did they treat her?

Well the little sisters get yelled at and such just as I do. The oldest sister is married with her own child. Of course she didn't have bad behavior as a child or get spanked etc. No child is perfect mind you but it's sad when you get in trouble in school and FEAR GOING HOME SINCE YOU KNOW MOM IS GOING TO SPANK YOU! YOU FEAR YOUR OWN MOTHER!! ! I cried while in a corner once to a teacher assistant she asked what's wrong "Since I got into trouble I know my mom's going to spank me now." Also surely you've read the put downs and threats from mom etc. and such from previous posts.

So you're saying your older sister got treated nicer than you? They played favorites?

Well the older sister has a totally different personailty than me. She didn't get in trouble as much as I did. As mention I feared coming home after getting into trouble at school. I'm not sure if I'd say she got treated nicer it's just I was a bad child constantly getting into trouble at school leading to being spanked.

I am glad you're feeling better about yourself. It sounds like your parents only mistreat you guys because you have problems but if you were "normal" you wouldn't be pissing them off and be getting treated badly.

Yeah, it sounds like they don't like the autistic behavior(the obsessions and the crying). Actually, my guess is that they take advantage of the crying because they know you flee when you do. And they can't spank you anymore, so why not give them a little grief?