I just want out of this, somebody stick me in a psych ward.

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Parents divorced 4 years ago, nothing but fights in the family.

Can't run away, never had a job, can't drive, keep getting denied for social security, can't even concentrate in college. Sister had a baby, I'm constantly taking care of him for her. b***h mother has no job. Other sister is a b***h, claims to be a Christian, but certainly never acts like it. Expects everything out of me. Dad is 70, constantly fearmongering, worried he will die, talked about chest pains and face numbness. Feel inadequate at school. Never had a girlfriend, b/c gay, but lives too far out and bus service too poor to go and be social. Dad judges about it. Have trouble conversing, never feel like I can be "cool." Always depressed, sometimes wanna kill self, but dreams keep me going. Everybody takes on burdens, but don't want ultimate responsibility for burdens. Sometimes I want to punch people.

Been watching baby all afternoon, feeling rage coming up at family.

Next time your sister asks you to watch the baby, and you're too stressed, tell her you can't do it, and try not to focus so much on everyone else's problems. You can only do so much to help other people. You are 19 and you are at a point in your life where you need to focus on YOU. If you parents or other family members can't respect that, that's their problem.

Focus on your dreams and ways of obtaining them. Focus on getting a license/car or at least some electric bicycle or some type of transportation. If you just have AS, you probably won't get SSI. Try to get a job just to get out of the house and save money. If you don't like it, quit. You have nothing to lose, and money to gain.

Take up walking. It can really do a world of good.

A hospital might be able to help you. You might even be able to get outpatient services and they would give you a ride there and back. As for social security, get a lawyer. The lawyer cannot charge you if you lose your case.

As for the baby, you make it sound like the mother is dumping the care of the baby on you so that she is not inconvenienced by it. If she doesn't have a job, then where is she going and what is she doing that she can't watch her kid? Where is the father?

You should put your foot down and tell the mother that she should be taking care of her own baby, since she's got no job to go to. Tell her that she should be responsible for her own child and that she should have thought, before she spread her legs open.

That's exactly what the rest of the world (outside my family) tells me. Even my estranged mother tells me that. In fact, My mother told me that whenever my little sister goes with her baby over to see her, my little sister hands her baby to my mother. And then her boyfriend (not the biological father, another boyfriend) ends up holding and taking care of the baby. I seriously think my sister should put her child up for adoption. But, she claims she "loves" her child.

Now at night I feel nothing but terror. She always throws a fit and says things like "goddammit," "would you shut the f**k up, Liam" I often hear her walk out into the den and shout "goddamn it" again (as if she wants someone to wake up and help her). I sleep in the same room as my dad, and she often comes in and asks my dad if he will take her baby and sleep with him. I am so terrified of her that I wrap a blanket around my head (I also stuffed tissue paper in my ear last night). These are the same things I did when I had my paranoid fear of fire alarms. I am a f*****g adult and I still do this s**t, I am such a messed up person.

Inside the immediate family, however, my dad's "foot has not come down," so to speak. I understand he needs my help as far as keeping an eye on the baby goes. I don't feel like I can stand up to my little sister, since she literally screams out and threatens people who get on her bad side, gets mad if you talk to extended relatives and outside people about her problems, and she holds grudges for a long time. She She doesn't like me all that much, because I am not a cool brother (but a smelly anime nerd, in her words). She uses my computer to check her e-mail and asks me to loan her money her friend wants for taking her to a corn maze and giving her rides.

I would rather not have a relationship with her, but the old man thinks it is good for me to try and mend the relationship. I am so f*****g sick of him telling me that I need to "smile" around the family more, when they are the real source of 95% of my pain. He thinks we will "need" each other later on. f**k, if I was in that desperate a situation, I would rather go to a homeless shelter and deal with stinky bums or commit suicide than depend on her (she probably wouldn't want me around anyways). I would do anything to get away from my little sister, including moving out. which is something I am currently trying to do.

Well, she doesn't really do anything around the house at all, other than cook occasionally. If she does the dishes or some kind of housework, she usually expects to be thanked copiously. She has work at a trendy mall store, but is not getting any hours. Besides that, she gets sick fairly often, and since me and my 70-year old dad are the only "willing" ones. Well, you get the point.

The father? He's a drug dealer/neo-nazi. Arrested this spring for selling "psychedelic herbs," and is currently in jail on felony charges.

How old are you?

twenty-two years old at the moment.

you could always call 911 and tell them your thinking about killing yourself. that'll get you in the hospital pretty quickly. just don't get ancy and want to leave right after you get there, that'll get you committed involuntarily.

Calling 911 is a decision that I would take very seriously, not something to do casually. And psych. ward would be the absolute last resort if my situation and/or mental state had become so dire that I could not function with society. The situation with my little sister causes me to be EXTREMELY anxious around her, but I am still able to get out occasionally and do things.

Well, the topic of the thread says you want to be in a psych ward.

Oh, you're probably correct, Shibashiba. I just said that in jest (not really saying that I want to be put in a psych. ward. Should have thought of that when posting in a forum full of literalist Aspies.

I just wish there was a way for me to get away from my family, permanently

Well, I'll be hoping for you to get something better soon. I can't suggest anything, but I'll do what I can.

Well, if it wasn't in the haven then I might have not taken you so seriously. I know how you feel, my family literally did drive me into a psych ward.

Well my situation is not quite as bad as yours, no irresponsible sister pushing her baby on me after all.....But i know how you feel about wanting to get away from your family. Hell I am starting to think if I can't find a way to move out of my moms house pretty soon, I'm going to loose it. I have no personal space and her boyfriend is an ass. But I hope things get better for you, maybe try standing up to your family.....though I suggest that I can hardly do that myself.

I admit its getting to the point where I would rather be in a psych ward then at my moms house, at least I might get a little bit of personal space.

I understand, I read your post about your situation. I honestly don't know how I get through every day. I have been my family's butt since my parents divorced over 4 years ago. I just feel like my sisters are running the family, monopolizing my dad's finances. And my dad is not doing anything to help me develop independence.

I am constantly worried about him having a heart attack, and dying, and I live in anxiety of almost everything. My dad doesn't comfort me, but when a crisis arises, he speaks to me in a fatalistic tone.

I pretty much hate every member of my family, but especially my youngest sister (the one with the baby). I can't believe we are even members of the same family. She is a fashion-centred person and she will accuse you of anything if you make a comment. She will conclude that you mean something when you don't. She also is very hypercritical and very willing to stab you in the back, so to speak. She just uses me (taking care of her baby, using my computer, and loaning her money to pay off friends). I feel obligated to help her because I am trying to prevent a flare-up between her and my dad. I feel like I am doing this for my dad's sake. But I can sense she doesn't like me. She gives me an imperious look all the time (she even stuck her nose up at me) She already slandered me to my youngest sister (she hates that I like anime and other geeky things, and said that I don't have a job nor girlfriend at my age). She had her baby, but often does not take care of him and gets angry and throws a fit if he starts crying at night. I am sitting here in fear of her doing that as I type this at 1:42 AM my time.

Now my mom is having a horrifying crisis regarding her hip and financial situation, and I have to go to a family meeting on Wednesday to discuss possible options for bailing her out.

Where's my f*****g bailout. My dad seems to have more compassion for his ex-wife (who stole most of his life savings in the divorce) than he does for his aspie son.

I am trying to my utmost to just move out and get away from them. I am decreased to the point that I am constantly talking to myself and having semi-homicidal thoughts (thank God for me being a peacenik). I live in Idaho (one of the most conservative states in the country), and social services here are limited. I have been trying to get SSI, but Social Security just keeps denying me through the process (I am waiting for an Administrative law judge, which will take 12-18 months). I am prepared to just say, f--k it and get a job. I am sick of waiting on a f*****g bureaucracy.

I cannot wait for the day when I am living in my own apartment and then having a college degree. my little sister cannot say the same.