Overwhelmed

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I'm tired and exhausted. My internship sucks out the life from me by being overworked. I'm tired of having to get ready in the dark every morning to make sure my roomie still gets her beauty rest but she never appreciates it. My Professional Seminar course is stressing me out. So much work and I keep misinterpreting the assignments. We only have 4 meetings in the semester. The rest is all online. I hate having to ask questions via e-mail. I feel like I would be cluttering her inbox if I asked everything I think of. I had a meltdown in our first class meeting today and I feel like such an ass for not being able to get it. This is my last semester, if I f**k up now I won't graduate. I can't screw up now. If I do, my career is over. I'd be known as the girl who couldn't complete college because she choked at the finish line. >.<

It's been almost 3 weeks since I've seen my bf. His mother hates me because apparently she thinks I'm stealing food. I barely talk to him because she monitors his phone activity. I really need him now. I want him to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right. I miss him. I'm tired of feeling alone. I wanna know if he is okay. I wish I had a private place to cry my heart out but I don't. My roommate never leaves, especially on the weekends. I have to bottle everything in until I reach a breaking point and that's when I meltdown. I didn't do anything to deserve this, neither did my bf. I just want everything to get better. I wanna be genuinely happy again, not this poker face I've been putting up these past few weeks.

I really wish I could help, I'm not having a good life at the moment either. I'll wish you the best of luck and tell you that you're doing good by perservering as long as you have. Somehow things will end up alright.

*hugs* to both of you.

i couldn't handle college well - i was the girl who quit near the end, but i'm doing okay for myself work-wise now. (only a secretary, but it pays the rent)

& the boyfriend thing sucks. it seems like theres nothing you can do until he mans up and stands up to her.

I'm surprised you haven't gotten into a fight with your roommate yet. I would have called her a c*nt a long time ago the way she's acting.

You're supposed to communicate and share the room space, be equal partners on it all. Here, she's calling on the shots and doesn't give a damn what you want to do. You bend over backwards for her, yet science forbid she gets the hell out of the room for an hour so you can bend over backwards for your boyfriend.

and your boyfriend's mother is a c*nt too, but you didn't need me to tell you that. I just wanted to say c*nt some more.

I went to bed and as soon as I woke up, I started thinking about all the work I'll have to do to make up for the assignment that I know I screwed up and I started crying again and wishing for my bf to be with me. Part of me wonders if he even cares about me anymore. we haven't been able to talk at all this week. I miss him so much I can't stand it. If I could drive, I would go to his house myself. :'(