I'm not racist or anything...

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You've heard that before right? I mean right before or after someone says something really racist they are like "I'm not racist or anything!" or whatever. This girl I met the other day was talking to me and she was in my apartment and I don't want to go into why she was here or what she was doing but she's not my friend and she's not my boyfriend's friend, she's just from school.

She kept talking about minorities this and minorities that and I was pretty much ignoring her, and she says "Oh! Oh my gosh! Is that you?" and motions toward a picture I have framed hanging on my wall of me and three guys I've known my whole life, plus their mom, and all four of them are black. I'm not entirely caucasian but I'm definitely white looking. I said "yeah." and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere because I didn't want to hear more about her pity for minorities.

No, that wasn't where she went. She got defensive. I didn't say a damned word about the picture or the people in it but one of my brothers, Andre, is on death row. He was undiagnosed schizophrenic and some things happened and I'm not going to defend him or go into detail because what happened is what happened and I'm pretty familiar with his situation and I don't need anyone to tell me their opinions about it so I didn't want to talk about my brothers or know about her sympathy. Period. The picture is up because we rarely have people in our apartment and it reminds me of home and I never thought about wanting to take it down to avoid a conversation about it. Now she never knew that was who was in the picture, she doesn't know about Andre and I'll never tell her because the girl is just about crazy.

This girl starts explaining why she has never had a black friend, or a Hispanic friend, and I go silent, and I let her ramble about how black people don't like her but it's not their fault because they are "economically disparaged as a people" and "misplace blame on white people" Really? Was her opinion really any of my business? So I eventually got sick of it. I said "I don't need you to prove yourself." and she said "Well I mean it's just you have that picture up so prominently displayed and they obviously aren't your family, what are you trying to prove?" to which my response was "Those are my brothers, that is my godmother, you are leaving my apartment. I'm not sure which one of us will prove it, are you going to walk out the door on your own? Do me that favor."

I know Austin is a really good city compared to the rest of Texas, the racism is all hidden, there is public health insurance available to the poor and homeless, the city has made it through the country and state's economic issues while not having unemployment rise very much and it went back down and it's a good place on paper and it's a good place if you like live music and art and it's like an oasis in the middle of the dessert but the thing is... the WHITE PEOPLE are getting to me. The kids that think they are liberal, the people that say they have a Korean friend and thus are not racist, the people who won't rent to black people outside of East Austin(which used to be the "negro district" during segregation and remains to this day the "black/Hispanic side of town") I'm from a tiny town in Texas and people in my town were openly racist, dumb, not all of them, but enough to notice. I honestly prefer hearing racial slurs shouted out in the open to this girl going crazy in my living room trying to disprove her views of herself to me... It's WAY worse than "I'm not racist but" to give a lengthy dissertation on why it's OK that you are sort of racist. I really don't need to hear an endless list of statistics to know my brothers all faced challenges because they were black. Didn't need to know. I don't need people to apologize to me for the holocaust, I would prefer you educate yourself about Antisemitism instead of thinking the holocaust is the worst example of it... but damn. This girl.

It was exhausting. Why would someone need so desperately to make a near-stranger think she's not a racist? What would make a person assume someone thinks they are racist? We're both white looking, I'm not judging people for being white when I myself am white, and I'm not putting up a picture of my brothers to prove anything... I miss them, what the hell is wrong with me having a picture to bring back memories on occasion? It wouldn't bother me at all(it's happened before) if someone is curious about the picture, I just say that's my godmother and effectively the closest thing I had to brothers growing up. People don't ask more than that.

I've really been thrown for a loop.

People fear being branded racist (rightly or wrongly) so much due to the possible reprisals that may occur.

I'm sorry... I've seen a lot of that kind of thing, and it's always depressing and sickening. Probably she knows on some level that she's a racist, hence the jumping up and down saying that she's not a racist. But why would she think you'd be interested? And what on earth is her problem with the photo? I'm white Irish, and I have photos of non white friends. It's not to prove anything... they're just friends. Don't let it get to you. I bet it threw her for a loop when you told her it was a family photo. Sheesh...

I come from a multicultural background, and have lost count of how many times people have befriended me only to say that they were happy that they finally had a (----fill in blank) friend.! I grew tired of being a token, so now I am extremely wary of who is trying to befriend me. Having mixed race parents made me extremely open to many cultures, but it is tiresome coming up against the racist who is trying desperately not to be one. It sucks.

I hate it when someone calls me their "Jewish friend" ... I've gotten pretty sick of being a novelty. I just refuse to let people know anything about my family so I know I'm not being befriended to be a novelty for some person who must be really, really boring if they need a "Jewish friend" as an accessory.

I know what you're talking about. I grew up often hearing '' I'm not a racist but...'' followed by a lot of racist stuff. As a child I actually believed that arabs and romani people were all thieves and just plain bad, because that's what the grown-ups said. But my outside-of-social-thingy-aspie perceptive and some things that happened in my life opened my eyes and I saw what racism was and the damage and hurt it caused.

Friends are not like family, you can pick your friends. If someone hangs out with you because they want a ''jewish friend'', then they're not really you're friends and you should get some new ones.

Funny thing: while I was writing this post my mother informed me that my brother had lost both my buss pass and her credit card, both which he had stolen. My brother looks like Hitler's aryan dream: blond, tall, blue eyed, white as snow. So, lesson of the day: stay away from us white people, we will steal you stuff

Yeah, none of my friends have ever referred to me as their "Jewish friend" I've just met people who assume I'll be their social novelty because we work together or have a class together etc. I just ignore it if it's in class or at work, but if it were at a social gathering I'd probably tell them to bug off.

Don't worry though, I don't trust anyone, let alone white people.

People actually have the nerve to introduce you as their "Jewish friend"? I'd almost be tempted to respond, "and yeah, this is a goy idiot I can't shake off."

Yeah, when this one person rejoiced at having a biracial friend, it killed the friendship. I felt that she had just negated everything that made me who I was. I should have told her to go and buy a doll that looked biracial, and carry it around with her.

I remember once I went to Six Flags with my friend and at one point, she talked to her friend on the phone. She was talking about me and she said "Yeah, she's Jewish, but she's cool." I just thought "Why did she need to say that?".

I also get annoyed when my mom makes racist remarks on the phone about clients at work. She'll say "Those (fill in the blank)." Or "that's why I don't like working with them".

Sometimes I feel like she's trying to get me to look down upon them and it's harder for me to deviate from her opinions even though I want to view people fairly. It's not limited to racism, however. There's discrimination against social classes, weight, ect.

One experience I had for discrimination against weight (it was a while ago) was when I was at some family gathering and I had trouble squeezing a lime on a taco so a girl helped me. At first I had thoughts of discrimination towards her but I reminded myself I shouldn't be thinking that way and after we started talking I found she was actually pretty cool. Later that day my brother and my step-cousin started snickering about her because of her weight (e.g. But she's a whale, she's supposed to be able to swim). I was mad at them for making derogatory comments but I wasn't sure what to say, partially because I don't want to sound hypocritical. Err, now I feel like a hypocrite.

People who say "I'm not racist or anything but BLAH BLAH BLAH" don't want to be viewed as racist, or maybe they have a racist point of view but don't want to hold those opinions anymore.

You don't want to know what my mother tried to teach me about people who aren't white. Her family wasn't racist or classist but somehow my mother turned that way. She led a very angry life that was paranoid against people. Latino people couldn't even play soccer in the park behind her house without her watching them every moment to make sure they didn't do ... who knows what she thought ... in her yard or with her fence. Yeah, her backyard was fenced and she was still paranoid of people playing properly in a public space. Sick.

My father taught me very early that the Irish were once discriminated against just for being Irish and immigrants, so it's especially important for irish-americans to stand against discrimination in all its forms. This country is for everyone and everyone is equal.

It was pretty easy to believe my dad over my mother. What he said just made more sense. My mother accused me of being "trendy", "mainstream", and "PC" because I didn't agree with her when she'd go off on a tangent, but she'd refuse to see where anything she said was racist. That was the craziest part. Zero accountability.

Ah, yes. The classic phrase. Most people are racist, but only a minority is extreme enough to admit it.

White people have been getting on me, as you phrased it, for years.