Am I obsessed with my female third cousin?

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Years ago, when I was in grad school, I exchanged emails tons with a third cousin at a different college. I developed feelings for her, but knew she would not have them for me. I told her about it. It's legal to marry your third cousin, by the way.

Seems I never got over it, in a way. She got married. She'd been a good friend, or at least I thought, and I wanted to share about a woman I had met on OkCupid (not the current one being discussed).

I was excited about the OkC woman, and I had discussed with this woman my lack of actual history with with women except that of my interest in my third cousin (and a few others) saying she was apparently flirty.

Then I forwarded this to the said 3rd cousin, wanting to share my happiness, not thinking clearly at the time. She was ticked.

Then we talked about whether we were still friends. And, she said, I guess so. And I said - and I don't know what I mean to this day - "good to have you back". I thought I really meant as a frined, but sometimes I wonder what was really under all that.

She unfriended me on Facebook. She said, well, Bill, I never really was yours.

I still occasionally think of her. sometimes I think I hate her, she's a b***h, sometimes I kindof think that she was the one who got away... or at least used to think that way. Not much of that anymore.

Any ideas?

As a female, I get why she'd be miffed. And I also understand her coldness. Though I wouldn't really call her "the one that got away" because you two didn't come close to having a relationship. My advice is to forget about her.

The odds of children born of two cousins having birth defects are no higher then if the parents weren't related and the women was over 40.

Edit: HOW DO I KNOW THAT?!

I'm not sure if I'm getting this clearly. Your cousin saw what you were saying about her to this other girl?

Yes. I consider - or used to consider - my third cousin a good friend. I am new at this relationship thing, so I wanted to share it with someone. I only realized later it was a bad idea.

Your cousin was miffed that you were talking about her and might not understand that third cousins are not even related by close blood. She probably thinks it was sick. I would just appologise to her and say that you were wrong by saying it...If you even care what shes doing if not just let it go.

Yes, very true about being related by blood. I was a biology major and know about how chromosomes are handed down. By the time you get to third cousins, there is a very miniscule amount of DNA shared.

\And, FTR, my first cousin, a guy, also her third cousin, was appaerntly interested in her. She's a little flirty, I htink, and didn't realize it. When she was in college she attracted men like flies.....

Well sounds like you got yourself in a pickle. I can see why she would be annoyed, especially if the connection you two had was only implied. Since she is married so the chance with her is 0, so I'd just write an apology to her. Maybe she'll forgive you and you can be friends again.

I did apologize, but the fact that I said "glad to have you back" gave her the creeps. And I have really no interest in her .... that I am aware of.

But I have OCD (more under control now), and brought up aspects of the conversation a few times later, and she did not like that.