I killed a lot of people.

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Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

01 Apr 2011, 6:56 am

Where to start?
That girl I've been so upset about, Rachel Wilkes. Remember her? Dead. Her naked body is rotting under a manhole somewhere in downtown Beaufort. I sliced her throat and carved a smile on her face from ear to ear. This was before I raped her.
There was this kid, about three, who kept bumping into me at a Ruby Tuesday. I strangled him.
My English teacher, that snob, I shot him in the face. I was wearing gloves, and I made it look like a suicide. I planted child porn on his computer, typed a suicide note on Word.
The Sudomerski family, reduced to KFC in a fire. Six people.
Couple of homos, disemboweled.
My mother and father, poisoned.
Ten local politicians. Eyes and mouths sewn shut. Beheaded with an axe.
Ninety year old lady with Alzheimers. Pushed in front of a semi.
A pack of vagrants, 13 strong, all shot.
Five hookers, throats slit.
Cooked three infants.
A cop, his wife and his daughter. Raped, butchered and disposed of in a dumpster.
A teenage couple, screwing. Sliced and diced.
Fifty, so far...
My confession.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_b7RDuLwcI

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Giftorcurse
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01 Apr 2011, 7:00 am

APRIL FOOLS!

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HodgeieHodgeMarcel
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01 Apr 2011, 7:10 am

Giftorcurse wrote:

No offence but that was the worst pathetic joke I have ever read. I bet u play alot of Grand Theft Auto....

emlion
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01 Apr 2011, 7:11 am

You're so patrick bateman.

Xeno
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01 Apr 2011, 8:51 am

ZOMG "TEH GAME" LOLOLZ!! !! !! !! !! !! !!!11111111111 Blah.

Bethie
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01 Apr 2011, 8:51 am

~notices Molly Ringwald's pic long before confessions of slayings~

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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.

Jonsi
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01 Apr 2011, 8:55 am

Hilarious.

hill-o-beans
Toucan
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01 Apr 2011, 9:14 am

list made me blood lust.

wefunction
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01 Apr 2011, 9:31 am

I thought this was a perfectly reasonable every day post from Giftorcurse.

MXH
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01 Apr 2011, 9:46 am

wefunction wrote:

I thought this was a perfectly reasonable every day post from Giftorcurse.

This.

Xeno
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01 Apr 2011, 3:08 pm

This day needs to die.

League_Girl
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01 Apr 2011, 5:53 pm

I just knew this was an AF joke because who in the right mind would come online and confess to a bunch of strangers they've killed people?

And I don't think joking about killing is a good joke BTW.

draelynn
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01 Apr 2011, 6:22 pm

And I was just thinking we needed a good old fashioned viking around here... not enough lootin', pillagin' and good old fashioned bloodlust.

Molly counts, right? Because of the hair?

Giftorcurse
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01 Apr 2011, 6:35 pm

draelynn wrote:

Molly counts, right? Because of the hair?

No. She's my goddess.

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jamieboy
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