What do you think of my poem please?

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It's called "defeat"

Dead carcas's claim your eye's, questioning your fate through ghostly thoughts it plys.
Bringing yourself deeper the longer you stay- leaving the grounds becomes difficult
as they entrap you in grey. Reading the concrete oblong- seeing past comrades imparted in stone
explicating to your hesitation that you wont be alone. Equivocation becoming slim, capitulation nearly over the brim, escaping this trance seems increasing dim, more likely to drown as upriver you swim.

wrote it about 5 years ago probably.

this is my best work IMO...

have more on the blog if you are interested.

http://myspaceinplace.blogspot.com/

most of it is depressing stuff.

Hey not bad buddy! I lnow what you been through so i can relate

That's gorgeous! I think I'm pretty good at poetry, but yours beat the crap out of any of mine! Keep writing them.

If a word ends in an 's' you add an apostrophe to make possessive. And rhyming poetry is sort of...