One week into graduate life...

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Erisad
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11 May 2011, 11:03 am

And I already want to go back to school. I don't want to be an adult anymore. My phone died, I lost my social security card, my mom hates me, and I just can't take it. I'll never amount to anything. I'm trying to ask her for help and she keeps yelling at me to stop crying. I'm sorry that the prospect of my identity being stolen isn't important to you. She just tells me to calm down and I'm sorry but that doesn't work. I would think she knows about my meltdowns by now, considering I've lived with her since birth. She's such a selfish b***h that I wonder why I ever loved her in the first place. I don't know why my crying pisses her off so much. How much is it to ask to get a hug from my mom? Apparently it's a lot. I wish I could get a job and move out as soon as possible. I don't care that I can't drive. I would rather walk to work than rely on that b***h. Now I'm bawling my eyes out and she's pissed off at me for crying about something that's really serious. I know she's never lost her social security card so that puts her on a higher playing field as someone who's better than me. She's always been better than me. At my age she was engaged, skinny, beautiful, and had a degree and job for 2 years. If I was more like her, she would love me. :cry:



Erisad
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11 May 2011, 11:12 am

What if a company wants my social security card when they try to hire me and I can't give it to them? They won't be able to hire me then and they'll think I'm irresponsible when I'm not. I just moved back from college so who knows where my card could have ended up. I just hope some identity thief doesn't have it. :cry:



Bookgirl14
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11 May 2011, 11:19 am

It'll be all right. *hugs* Have you tried going to the Social Security office and getting a new card? I lost mine a couple of years ago and I went to the office and had them send a replacement in the mail. It happens more often than you think. As for your mom, I hope everything works out, I'm going through a lot of the same stuff with my dad right now. It stinks but hang in there! :D



Erisad
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11 May 2011, 11:22 am

Bookgirl14 wrote:
It'll be all right. *hugs* Have you tried going to the Social Security office and getting a new card? I lost mine a couple of years ago and I went to the office and had them send a replacement in the mail. It happens more often than you think. As for your mom, I hope everything works out, I'm going through a lot of the same stuff with my dad right now. It stinks but hang in there! :D


We haven't had the chance yet. I tried printing out the document but mom got mad at me when I asked for Dad's social security number (as the form asks me to) and that I accidentally put her married name instead of her maiden name on it. I forgot, okay? I never knew her as her maiden name. She's always so harsh with me. She's just a perfect NT so she wouldn't understand my damaged mind. :cry:



purchase
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11 May 2011, 11:37 am

Don't worry Erisad! You are not damaged! I too compare myself to my parents when they were my age and my sister. All were/are "successful adults" about five years earlier than me. In fact sometimes they compare their success at my age to my non-success to try to prod me out of non-functionality, I guess, not realizing that that is not an effective strategy.

Anyway: for some reason, things like losing my Social Security card, which I have, has never bothered me much for some reason, maybe cause I have no assets. I guess different things affect people differently.

I've for a long while thought what a great person you are and thought I wished I had a chance to know you in real life! I know that has nothing to do with your mom/your becoming-adult issues, but anyway, you're a person I admire and I definitely wouldn't call you damaged!



Last edited by purchase on 11 May 2011, 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

purchase
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11 May 2011, 11:39 am

Oops, double post. Well to make it worthwhile:

Image



Last edited by purchase on 11 May 2011, 12:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Erisad
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11 May 2011, 11:53 am

purchase wrote:
Don't worry Erisad! You are not damaged! I too compare myself to my parents when they were my age and my sister. All were/are "successful adults" about five years earlier than me. In fact sometimes they compare their success at my age to my non-success to try to prod me out of non-functionality, I guess, not realizing that that is not an effective strategy.

Anyway: for some reason, things like losing my Social Security card, which I have, has never bothered me much for some reason, maybe cause I have no assets. I guess different things affect people differently.

I've for a long while thought what a great person you are and thought I wished I had a chance to know you in real life! I know that has nothing to do with your mom/your becoming-adult issues, but anyway, you're a person I admire and I definitely wouldn't call you damaged!


Yeah, they do that to me too. "I had my license 5 years ago, why don't you?" "I was already married, why can't you keep a boyfriend?" They think they're helping but it makes me feel like s**t.

I don't have assets either, but I just don't like letting people down like that. D:

Awww, thanks hun. That's really sweet. :)

P.S. I don't like mice and frogs at all actually and they kinda freak me out. >.<



pezar
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11 May 2011, 12:04 pm

((((Erisad))))

(that's a hug, btw)

I'm sorry you lost your Social Security card. It is kinda scary. Go down to the Social Security office and get a new one. It sounds like your mom hates you, which is not unusual for aspies, it seems that many of us have parents who hate us. How can a parent be so cruel to its own flesh and blood? My dad abused me, but he was schizophrenic, so it wasn't his fault. Some people on WP sound as if they have sadistic parents. Maybe you should move to a city and find work. I know you're scared of cities, but when the alternative is living with that wicked mom of yours...



Erisad
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11 May 2011, 12:09 pm

pezar wrote:
((((Erisad))))

(that's a hug, btw)

I'm sorry you lost your Social Security card. It is kinda scary. Go down to the Social Security office and get a new one. It sounds like your mom hates you, which is not unusual for aspies, it seems that many of us have parents who hate us. How can a parent be so cruel to its own flesh and blood? My dad abused me, but he was schizophrenic, so it wasn't his fault. Some people on WP sound as if they have sadistic parents. Maybe you should move to a city and find work. I know you're scared of cities, but when the alternative is living with that wicked mom of yours...


I need to have my mom drive me down there, which she may or may not do based on her mood. :(

If I had the money, I would move but I don't have a job yet so I really need to find work but without my social security card, I may not get it. >.<



zen_mistress
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11 May 2011, 3:48 pm

purchase wrote:
Oops, double post. Well to make it worthwhile:

Image


that is very pretty.


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Erisad
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11 May 2011, 5:35 pm

so pretty, thanks purchase. :)



cdfox7
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11 May 2011, 6:00 pm

pezar wrote:
Some people on WP sound as if they have sadistic parents.


Tell me about it, my parents are just as twisted. I got a "cold war" going on with mother right now
There's a lot of truth about parents in Philip Larkin's poem, This Be The Verse.
That poem sums my view of my mother, father & step-father perfectly.



Erisad
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11 May 2011, 6:04 pm

cdfox7 wrote:
pezar wrote:
Some people on WP sound as if they have sadistic parents.


Tell me about it, my parents are just as twisted. I got a "cold war" going on with mother right now
There's a lot of truth about parents in Philip Larkin's poem, This Be The Verse.
That poem sums my view of my mother, father & step-father perfectly.


That sucks. :(



cdfox7
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11 May 2011, 6:15 pm

Erisad wrote:
cdfox7 wrote:
pezar wrote:
Some people on WP sound as if they have sadistic parents.


Tell me about it, my parents are just as twisted. I got a "cold war" going on with mother right now
There's a lot of truth about parents in Philip Larkin's poem, This Be The Verse.
That poem sums my view of my mother, father & step-father perfectly.


That sucks. :(


what sucks?



ksuther09
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12 May 2011, 10:01 pm

Seems like your mom is very harsh. I am sorry. My mother was like that also.

Do you have someone else - like a good neighbor friend or older mentor you could go to? They might be able to help you with the job search like with networking and stuff?

Also, does your mother know you are on the spectrum? If she did, maybe she would understand your difficulties and the challenge of transitioning from school - a structured environment - to the world of work - where you have to present yourself socially and all that.

I hope you find your Social Security card soon! Do you have a pass-port? I got all my documents back using that after my wallet got stolen once.



Erisad
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13 May 2011, 6:40 am

ksuther09 wrote:
Seems like your mom is very harsh. I am sorry. My mother was like that also.

Do you have someone else - like a good neighbor friend or older mentor you could go to? They might be able to help you with the job search like with networking and stuff?

Also, does your mother know you are on the spectrum? If she did, maybe she would understand your difficulties and the challenge of transitioning from school - a structured environment - to the world of work - where you have to present yourself socially and all that.

I hope you find your Social Security card soon! Do you have a pass-port? I got all my documents back using that after my wallet got stolen once.


Thanks for the support!

No, the friends that live closest to me are an hour away in different directions. And my neighbors never talk to each other.

She knows because she kept my AS a secret from me until I was officially diagnosed. She feels that I'm so "high functioning" that I should be NT. She wanted a mini version of herself and gets mad when I'm having a meltdown. "God you're hard to take some days."

We're applying for a replacement card. I never had a passport. I never left the country. D: