Inability to truly relax

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I've realised lately that I'm really not able to fully relax. I take time out because I know how important it is, but then I never use that time out as actual relaxation time. I'm too busy worrying about what I have to catch up with because I'm always so slow to get stuff done, and I'm always worrying whether I've forgotten something or whether my to-do list and diary and whiteboard are all up to date... But I think the biggest problem here is that I'm only diagnosed with a year and so it's still relatively new to me, so I've still not shaken off all the accusations of being "lazy" that were thrown at me all my life by my family, when none of us knew what was really going on. I'm a workaholic because I'm afraid of resting properly because I have this idea that it'll make me a bad, lazy person. Bet I'm not the only one who's gone through something like this!

I've always felt the same way Niamh.
Drugs (cannabis ONLY) help me chill out but it's hardly a permanent solution.

Many of the things that you mentioned fit in on me and peoples prior reactions and comments on my behavior before I got my diagnosis.
My brain just can't seem to shut the f**k up when I need it to the most, alone in my home with "all the time in the world" to recuperate and organize myself mentally and physically.

Oddly enough I feel as I relax more around my good friends. Sitting together doing whatever and listening or tuning out their conversations.
It's the same thing with sleep. I am unable to take a nap in daytime alone but if I have someone next to me hanging out I get this drowsy feeling and I feel more relaxed and able to shut my eyes and slightly relax.

It's not always I get this feeling of relaxation around my friends.
Right now I have a friend who just came home from Afghanistan and he's staying at my place because he sold his apartment and I feel very relaxed around him and mellow.
But as soon as I'm alone (he went to visit his parents for 2 days) I get restless and hyper and my cognitive activity just picks up like crazy.

My cousin used to call my behavior Pole Position, I used to be very tense and deep in thought looking around me and towards the direction where I felt things had to be done.

~shrugs~ It was worse before when I was younger, but I've thought myself to decrees my frantic activity with at least 40%.
I'm still on a roll constantly but I allow myself to relax from time to time.
I find different methods like playing games (especially ones that devour your time and make you forget the outside world for a while, RPG games are the best)

Sometimes even games can't help, I play but my mind is on fictitious priorities I keep rethinking and going over in my mind.
I've learned to identify these useless repeats of worry and filter them out if they are not pressing in my schedule.


I hope you find a system to decrease unnecessary worry, because in the long run it's real f*****g tiring.
~yawns~

You could benefit from some meditation techniques.

I seem to naturally accumulate tension. I suspect that other people let it out naturally as they go about their lives. Remembering to consciously unwind my body and mind now and then is a necessity.

Meditation can be useful, as can exercise. Set aside periods (perhaps as short as 15 minutes a day) to do relaxation, and then do just that. If it feels stressful because you feel you aren't being productive, it might help to know that productivity increases when you give yourself effective rest.

Here's a couple of guided meditations, they are very very relaxing. I recommend them.

http://www.buddhanet.net/mp3/huxter/hux ... xation.mp3
http://www.buddhanet.net/mp3/huxter/hux ... breath.mp3

Metta

I find physical things relaxing: warm bath, yoga, warm lavender wrap, or even exercising when really tense to burn energy off. I have used hypnotherapy/guided relaxation recordings before. Some of it is it being a bit of a ritual and taking time to get into it e.g. the same warm up exercises at the yoga, similar routines, then the last few minutes is relaxation and I am booked onto a 90 minute class so forced to stay and relax!

I usually fall sleep with the TV on as it distracts my mind from my thoughts. In my diagnosis recently she suggested melatonin for sleep problems in autism, through my doctor.

I must admit when I am at home alone I can't get anything done, I feel tired but can't sleep and end up just watching TV, going on the Internet and not doing the large number of things I should be doing like tidying so my house isn't a complete mess.