recently diagnosed

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I've been diagnosed this week. I already suffer from depression but feel more depressed and tearful. I feel alone and a bit hopeless that I'll be stuck in similar jobs for life (I've been a temporary administrator/secretary for 4 years but have a science PhD), having problems with people every day. Part of me thought I might still have something such as social anxiety I'd get over.

I've been irritable/unpleasant at work as exhausted and just wanted to go home. I just didn't have the energy for faking social niceties and thought what is the point. I'm not even sure whether to apologise or explain as they go from really sympathetic to judgemental and I can't work out if they are trustworthy. They don't know sending emails round with information is a work adjustment from my boss and moan about it and I'm not sure whether to say something. I think I appear generally normal apart from being very shy and going bad tempered with no warning.

My assessor is applying for funding for 10 sessions at the specialist Asperger's centre but I'm worried a) if they will get funding and b) how many months I could be waiting. I feel a bit hopeless that I'm (still) not getting any help with my depression and my GP says it is not treatable-although the assessor was talking about making adjustments so I could have therapy and said that all my problems could be treated with a good therapist. I'm just expected to plough on in the meantime and feel dreadful.

Hi. I find low-stress jobs suit me because I can focus and enjoy that which I do away from work more ably.

May be you could google 'psychotherapy self referral uk', or replace 'uk' with the area in which you live, if you feel desperate.

Usually if someone desires therapy they would benefit from therapy, I think, though there probably are exceptions. The irony is that a therapist could help a person become ready for therapy, but perhaps the limited availability of therapy means it is better to wait until someone is most receptive to the treatment.

Going for therapy involves a lot of being on a waiting list in my experience. If you do a search for 'suggested books' or similar in the WrongPlanet Google Custom Search at the top of the page there will be an invaluable list of threads revealing books recommended by forumites.

I am alarmed that your GP told you your depression is "untreatable". What the hell is that supposed to mean? I think he is ignorant, unless he has some unique reason why YOU should be untreatable whereas everyone else is treated. I don't believe he has such a unique reason, so I think you should seek a second opinion or even change doctors to someone more experienced with emotional/psychological problems.

Therapy can help address your problems, but "plowing on" in life is just part of life and WP exists to help with that. So, pick up a hoe ... and then later add even your most recent experiences while talking with a therapist.

Thank you for your nice replies.
I'm on a waiting list for subsidised private psychotherapy August-October that was recommended to me as I could only have 6 counselling sessions at work. I will look at the books from forumites -thanks.

It's quite a back story re: GP. Even in my early 20s I was going for assessments and told treatment wouldn't be suitable and Asperger's came up-but was not much help as I needed treatment not a diagnosis and I just thought that assessor was a jerk generally so wasn't convinced. I went off work with depression 2 years ago, started my current temp job then after a few months got CBT. The CBT therapist at the practice said it was unethical to continue with treatment as it was not working, possibly due to Aspergers. They applied for funding for assessment and this was declined. I wasn't offered any treatment, after pushing I got a sleeping tablet/mild anti-depressant. I got an advocate, put in a complaint and kept going to my GP and a few months ago he put in a successful bid for funding for assessment.
I got pretty depressed after seeing the doctor when I tried on multiple times to push for help. He recommended I saw someone else at the practice. Needless to say the psychologist that assessed me this week disagreed with their opinion and said it was my legal right to have adjustments for therapy. I have had counselling and therapy a large number of times over 12 years and tried 5 anti-depressants, but they haven't made a noticeable difference. It's my issues with people that make me depressed and they don't go away. You can see where the GP is coming from but I refuse to believe there is nothing anyone can do and at least now this psychologist agrees with me.

Hopefully the psychologist will have a suitable philosophical approach/perspective/path to suggest for you and then get your started along on it.

abc123 that about your CBT might just bs as hide subsidise issues.
Am on a CBT wating list myself I had counselling with the organisation that doing it & my counsellor that to me that AS should be no issue of CBT..

My AS CPN and support worker backed up that fact when I talked to then about CBT.

I've gone through similar emotions in the past. The difference is that I was diagnosed with AS before I was diagnosed with Depression.

Knowing more about AS is generally a good counter to the general confusingness of everyday life. There's a lot of autistic people in the world who don't know anything about it, so how can we expect the NTs to be on the ball?

Posting as the diagnosis has knocked me back a bit. I have social anxiety that I will talk to someone and it will be awkward. I feel any Asperger's traits are magnified and I'm talking a lot less at work, being rude to people (not holding back things I normally would), and not going to things I went to before.
I feel I'm struggling in my job and feel really stupid and that I'll never get a better job. My job seems very reliant on social and organisational skills and I'm packed into a tiny noisy office yet I can't see how I could get through an interview and get a more suitable job and don't feel good at anything. I don't have a special interest or memory for facts that would point towards a job. I feel too exhausted to even stop and apply for a job. I just want to go home and sleep.