How do I stop giving off vibes???! !!

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I feel that every stranger knows my weirdness just by looking at me, even though I know I don't do anything weird. I've even experienced girls in their late teens and early 20s laughing at me (I was told), and I feel that I don't like being on show any more, so I'm looking for a job in a factory, instead of retail. But I've got to know how to get rid of these nasty vibes, because I can't go on like this much longer. It's causing my self-esteem to fall apart, and it makes my anxieties worse.

It's got nothing to do with what clothes I wear because I do wear trendy clothes, and anyways I do know a lot about fashion and I know what looks funny and what doesn't (I'm not that stupid). I'm not going to blame it on any types of faces I pull because I've noticed that everybody pulls solumn-looking faces when they're on their own. I would have thought the vibes wouldn't show up because I don't have an awkward posture, and I carry a trendy hangbag over my shoulder, which looks really ''cool'' and ''mainstream''. I am aware of my hygeine, so I am OK there. But I was wondering if perhaps my hairstyle somehow gives off vibes, because I just have that plain boring hairstyle (the one with the frong tucked behind the ears and the rest just hanging). So I am now working on changing the hairstyle into something more prettier, and seeing if that shuts all those immature fuckersers up. If not, then I don't know how to hide those vibes.

Any ideas?

Sometimes there doesn't have to be anything physical that is noticeable about a person for them to give off a strange vibe. I feel that with certain people they are 'strange' but can't explain it even if I analyze them logically in my mind.

I think you mentioned in another post that you cringe? The fact that you scrupulously avoid looking at faces, even when it's obvious the other person is looking at you, draws attention to you. They wonder what you're hiding or why you are acting afraid of them.

The basic issue, actually, is that you aren't "giving off vibes". As an Aspie, you don't have the same "body language" as the vast majority of the population, so they're not receiving the nonverbal signals from you that they expect. Since most of the processing for "body language" is carried on at a subconscious level, they can't say why you "seem wrong" - so, as humans are not so much rational animals as rationalizing animals, they make something up.

Sadly, unless you can learn to successfully imitate this "body language", this will continue to be an issue. The only solution I've found is to resign myself to forever being different, and cease to really care what people might think about me. It's been working pretty well for me, these past fourteen years (dating from when my first wife left me, and I began to realize how many of the problems I was having in the wake of that came from worrying about how it might all look to other people - when I declined to let everybody else tell me how to feel, my life improved dramatically).

You're an aspie and you will never send the correct subconscious cues, so don't try to fake it. Imitating NT mannerisms like fashion don't help either. It just makes it look like you're trying to hard.

Best way to combat this is be open as possible. Bad vibes stem from fear of the unknown. If you don't express yourself or have social proof, then all someone is able to judge you by is your demenor, which is quite unfavorable for aspies.

So, dress how you feel, ask what you want to know, do what you enjoy, and go with the flow the best you can. Even if you're weird, you're a lot better off if people can tell who you are. If you're evasive and defensive, people will always assume the worst about you by default.

I don't know what body language I'm supposed to give off when just standing waiting at a bus stop on my own, or just walking down the road to the destination I need to get to.

I would have thought other people had more things in life to concentrate on than what a stupid girl who they don't even know is doing and what she isn't doing.

But I know NTs who walk hunched, especially young men around my age. And where I come from, I wouldn't have thought I could stand out if I tried, because there are so many different people of different shapes and sizes and different ages, doing different things. I'm just a stranger to everyone - it's not like I live in a small village and you know everybody and everybody knows you. Where I come from, there are so many different types of people, some cockneys, some snobs, some foreigners, some weirdos, some drug-addicts (comes under weirdos), and the list goes on. I'm just the ordinary type who just blends in, and anyway, I'm not always on my own either. I'm often with my friend, and we walk around and do shopping together. And I get the buses on my own, which is very independant.

I don't think I have a different posture. I stand up straight. And it's not like I don't bother to make an effort with presenting myself, because I do make an effort. Anyway, I can't look that ''weird'', because I'm usually the first one to get somebody sitting next to me on the bus, when all the seats have one person in each. I would have thought people would want to avoid me if I looked a bit funny. I've seen it before. There was a teenage boy sitting on the bus, rocking backwards and forwards (I think he might be Autistic because I've seen him before), and nobody sat next to him, (I know how judgemental NTs can be). People preferred standing up. But I've never had people avoiding me. In fact, it's the opposite. People always stand near me in the bus stop, invading my space, and in shops people stand right up close to me, which inwardly agitates me.

So I don't know what it is.

there is nothing visible about this, it is indeed the 'feel' people get.
in my case, i'm often the most 'normal' looking on the bus, yet i am the one that noone sits next to; as if i was the rocking and humming kid.
i think this is something what the alternatives call your 'aura'. after i read up on some theories (mainly the kirlian version) and applying some techniques mentioned there, i did get results in becoming more accepted; people both started sitting next to me on the bus; yet they stayed clear at the stop, if i wished.

Not all people believe in aura and that sort of stuff.

But if I gave off something like that, then how come I still make friends at work and get men liking me?

I don't think people laugh at you because of vibes. People are just a***holes, and no matter who you are, aspie or NT, young or old, you will get pricks laughing at you at some stage.

I think the problem here is you're just more sensitive to it than most. I'm the same.

It's also possible that they're picking up on the fact you feel uncomfortable. Theres nothing that can fix that except confidence.