I have many problems wrong with me. I just don't know where to begin.
I'm have estranged relationship with my father because of my bad grades. I'm starting to spend more days by myself at nights. No-one invites me to hang out because I'm socially awkward or no-one really cares. I don't know.
I feel lonely and all I just to do is just be with friends, even if I did, I have to ask my dad about it and considering my relationship with him, I'm not going anywhere.
School or doctors isn't helping either, they say one side or the other didn't write back or something to find more info about me. I don't even care, the doctors haven't refer me to a therapy or whatever you call it, and the school hasn't written back.
One day I feel happy, another days I feel depressed, even when I'm trying to enjoy my days even the smallest bad thing that happens to me could trigger my depression.
I had a close friend of mine said to me while we were having a arugment, that I just use my depressing life as an excuse to make people pity for me. I hate that. I f*****g do. (I'm sorry I'm swearing) She doesn't know anything about my life. She doesn't know how it feels to be me. I never really had a chance to explain it to her about why you shouldn't talk to a person with sudical feelings. I want to talk about it but I never really had the chance. It pains me not to talk to her.
I'm wearing a fake mask everyday to hide my feelings. Seeing everyone so happy makes me even more depressed.
I keep living in deslusions where I live in a happy fantasy world, I do this to escape my sad real life. Only to be depressed more to find out that I'm in real life. Not some fancy happy land.
What should I do? I just want to die.. I just want to end my pain. Whats the point of living anymore? I'm just a burden to everyone. I get worked up on the smallest things and people just call me darma kings or oversenstive. I'M JUST PATHEIC. I just make people "Pity" for me! No-one knows me more.
Then again. What's the point of telling anyone my problems? they just stuff to make me feel more terrible.
I don't get the point of living anymore, I'm just patheic, a failing student, Soically awkard. Make people pity you for no reason, I give up.
