:( meltdown

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I had the most godawful day at work, after a stressful multiple-week period and just getting over a sinus infection and then my husband picks tonight as "I want sympathy" night. Well, I didn't have any, and I didn't want to be (as I feel I often am) called on to help solve his problems. So he stomped out of the room, all pissed off, and that is one thing that really sets me off big time, when people walk away like that and won't talk to me. He has this room where his computer is and he tried to slam the door on me, and I put my hand/arm out so he couldn't slam it, and the door recoiled and knocked him off balance. He then accused me of "attacking" him, which I had no intention of doing and refused to talk to me, which made things worse. I couldn't stop crying for like 2 hours and in my younger days a room would have been trashed. I just locked myself in the bathroom and tried not to destroy anything or get hurt. Mostly just cried. Right now the bastard is going about his business as if nothing happened. I hate meltdowns. I hate not feeling in control. This sucks.

i could be way off as i don't know your husband. but it looks like he has tried to get attention because you've not let him have his own way. you should pat yourself on the back for standing your ground :) I'm guessing he needs time to calm down and come round

thanks...yeah, I think it's that I wasn't giving the attention and "sympathy" he wanted. I just can't right now. I hope I can sleep tonight...I find it difficult when this happens

I can sympathise, I react this way too (though I smash rooms up still sometimes also) to this sort of incident, it is horrible when a partner/husband, simply stops talking to you, I had this happen in the past, for the same sort of reason usually...when my ex couldn't get his own way on something.

I hope it all calms down/has calmed down.

My husband and I had a similar incident last night. My husband eats when he is stressed. He's being under stress at work lately, so he's being eating... a lot. I am the one who does the shopping, handles the budget and prepares our meals, so we usually have confrontations over his eating because he eats the food I intended to use for preparing breakfast, dinner, or so. Well, last night I saw the empty peanut butter jar over the table and asked him (gently) try not to eat the peanut butter because thats what I use to prepare the snacks for our daughter's lunch box, and that I planned sending her peanut butter/jelly sandwiches next day and now I did not have peanut butter. He got mad and started yelling he needed his own fridge because he was not able to eat anything at HIS house, that he needed his own house and his own fridge to be left alone, etc, etc. I got really mad. I mean, it is not fair. It is not HIS food, it is OUR food. It is for all of us. If he has different needs he should buy his stuff to eat. We just cannot afford his overeating. But when he gets like this I cannot talk to him because his rage just escalates. So I stopped talking to him and went to sleep. When he calmed down he approached me and we talked about it. Now we are good.

You have both got a point. He probably didn't plan it but did miss that you weren't receptive.
I tend to be the one that sneaks off, sulks and shuts myself away.

I hate it when my husband eats fruit when I have planned portions of fruit to eat for the week. I ask why he can't replace it. If he told me when we bought it I could buy more.

Well, things have calmed down. However, I never feel right for a day or two at least after a meltdown...I'm on edge and having sensory issues REALLLLY badly, and I feel really depressed. This usually happens when I've had a meltdown. My eyes are sore from how much I cried yesterday At least I didn't trash anything...there is that. Now I just want to crawl under a piece of furniture and sleep (yeah I know it sounds weird but it's what I feel like right now). Husband is acting like nothing ever happened...yeesh.

~Kate

Damn, STILL not back to normal, whatever the hell that is. Ever since the other night, every little freaking sensory thing gets to me, I'm "on edge" and can't seem to get comfortable. I keep obsessing about things and relationships that went wrong, how they must be my fault, etc. Argh.

~Kate

I think its fine to wonder what are things you did wrong in relationships, but not everything is you. Maybe you'd feel better if you guys talked after you've calmed down and don't feel so overwhelmed =/

We did talk about it some, but sometimes he just gets it in his head that it was all my fault and then I end up buying into it and getting depressed. At this point if I can let it go, it's probably better if I do. But of course I obsess about it, so it makes it hard to let it go. I really wish most of the problems didn't get blamed on me

~Kate

Do you two get marriage counseling?