Things that annoy me.

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Most of you might know me for not being much of a complainer, but once in while things grate on my nerves enough to annoy me and I've decided to list some recent things here.

1. Women who think their @$$hole husbands have AS.

This is at the top of my list today for a few reasons (perhaps I should revise my reply to the post on list making).

a) First of all it implies they think AS is characterized by abusive, generally horrible people who only care about themselves and I vehemently reject this notion. It's my opinion that most people with AS are inherently kind people and I think men with AS are far more likely to be too nice than not.

b) Most of the "evaluation" these women's husbands have had have been done behind their backs. The woman has have either been able to collect a rudimentary yet horribly insufficient understanding of AS characterized in their minds by lack of empathy, and think their husbands fit the mold, or a marriage counselor who does not have sufficient experience in AS/ASD's, who frequently has not even heard the husband's side of the story, tell's the wife it sounds like her husband has AS.

c) A lot of times these women are co-dependent and are just trying to find an accuse for their husbands to treat them horribly.

I really wish there was a sticky in the forums that says "Asperger's Syndrome is not Synonymous With Your Husband Being An Abusive Jerk"

2. Doctors who are too quick to peg children as being on the spectrum.

In the 90's this would have been "Doctors too quick to peg children as having ADHD"
While some children with certain delays certainly do benefit from early intervention and it's safer to assume they are on the spectrum than not, I have a little relative who is almost a year, seems normal enough in all respects, has reached all of her milestones, loves people, makes ample eye contact, and yet her doctor is concerned she might be on the spectrum because she has tantrums apparently when someone shows her something she doesn't want to look at.

So now if a child has a tantrum every once in a while for some trivial reason they are on the spectrum? I think that's absurd.

3. In contrast the rather stark neglect of recognition of adults with AS, particularly women but seemingly successful men as well.

4. NT parents who think they understand the perspectives of those with AS better than those with AS.

Some parents are well meaning and do their best to understand their children. I understand that and I don't have any objections to them or their effort. But everyone once in a while I will encounter a parent who formulates some theories who think they understand people with AS much as some people think they understand how their cat thinks. In reality, this is only a best guess and does not constitute an emic view of the situation. I don't object to them theorizing but I object when they begin to refute the input of those with AS and not just on an individual basis with respect to their particular child, when when they start to hold these opinions of all people with AS. I've been told some fairly silly things of how I supposedly think and experience the world, and what my supposed weaknesses are and what I need "help" with by default since I have AS, when I've tried to describe to the other person how I think and experience the world. How insulting.

These are generally the same parents who discuss their supposed expertise in the subject with other parents, in a fairly condescending way.

5. Group homes for people with AS, specifically because they have AS.

This is just an exploitation of people with AS and their families and serves to make AS into something other than it actually is. It's not unusual for people with AS to have an internal nuclear meltdown upon approaching adulthood because it's such a big change in life, and many people with AS will protest and proclaim they can't possibly become a functioning adult, but in reality, most of them can and just need to be forced or sternly guided into it, to get over that big scary concept of change. The notion that people with AS need to be put in group homes needlessly robs those with AS of their chance at becoming an independent adult.

They are not in the person's best interest and only serve to make other's money.

6. The concept of "mild" AS and what makes one mild and what makes one severe.

Wow, this covers almost everything. I was going to make a #7, but I don't think that will be necessary.

I think awareness goes in cycles, its still in caraccature mode though I think we'll see that change somewhat significantly in the next ten or twenty years just as 'we' get more of the airwaves and you have more real/gritty stories about AS existence come out rather than just the quirky/bubbly/feel-good stuff. It'll help NT's to realize even more - we're a hell of a lot like them and most of the things they could never imagine being put through or putting up with, we can't either.

What it'll take is them having some intuitive sense of what it is and how it works for us - they still don't have that generally.


Ie. broken flunky NT's who HAD AS as kids? Yeah, its a joke.


Ugh, that's human's being human though. Happens on any topic under the sun unfortunately


Communities might not be the worst idea - ie. for the sake of some companionship in like issues. Generally though I hate the state telling anyone "No, don't take care of yourself - you can't, we'll do it for you". It rots NT's minds and morals out, no doubt it'll do the same for us.


Just a few twists to even an NT'd nonverbal functioning and their lives can be ruined. We're that flakey and particular as a race. Still very much monkeys, we've gotten over beating the different to death with bones and logs on site but - we still have a long way to go. If it comes to pass that we're so barbaric and primitive that gene correcting drugs are the only opt out - so be it.