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Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 6:05 pm

It seems like there is nothing to look forward to......if it was not for the fact that it would probably cause pain to people such as family members, friends and my current boyfriend I would probably have plans to end it. I would have something to look forward to if I had the means to cut myself off from society and live like something other than a brain dead sheeple. No I don't want a career so I can make lots of income........what good is that? Apparently the rules are conform and desire to reach the goals society says you should strive for.......or suffer a sh*tty quality of life because you deserve it.

What is there to look forward to honestly? just more pain before I finally die is what seems to be the case.



Baris10
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18 Oct 2011, 6:42 pm

So you study, you get a job, you work; perhaps you get married and have kids, you grow old, you die. And you're wondering at which point you're supposed to be happy? Because there's no end product, there's nothing to gain, andit's all rather pointless, society has lead you to believe that the point of life is to chase your own tail, you work so you can live, and you live so you can work.
I might have completely misunderstood how you're feeling, but if not; then you have to find something that interests you. Something that fascinates you, something beautiful that you can appreciate, and be overwhelmed by how amazing it is. Maybe you should try and read a book. If reality doesn't interest you, you can escape it. Or you can write your own book, and fill it with all the wonders that occupy your mind, you can create your own reality. Or perhaps you just haven't seen all that this world has to offer. Have you ever ventured down a curious path to explore the most obscure of locations, that you otherwise would never have even known existed? Have you ever stopped and thought about how vast the universe is, and how great the mysteries are as to how it works?
w­ww.­yo­utube.­c­o­m/watch?v=Y6ABIkH7m0s - this is a video I love, the music is nice too, but the images are amazing. Perhaps it will remind you of what a wonderous and strange world it is that we live in. People are just animals, don't judge the whole world by one species; you do not have to define yourself by the standards of humans.
I'm sorry if I'm saying all the wrong things, I just wanted to try and offer any help I could.



Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 6:50 pm

Baris10 wrote:
So you study, you get a job, you work; perhaps you get married and have kids, you grow old, you die. And you're wondering at which point you're supposed to be happy? Because there's no end product, there's nothing to gain, andit's all rather pointless, society has lead you to believe that the point of life is to chase your own tail, you work so you can live, and you live so you can work.

Well in my case I fail at studying, and don't get a job because my social skills suck and I hate society.....and if I am with my current bf long enough I imagine we would want to be 'married' in the legal sense, but I think we would both prefer to skip the ridiculous ceremony....as for kids, its better I don't have them and we shall leave it at that I have my reasons such as I could not handle the stress which would be unsafe for the child right. But yeah I wont say society has lead me to believe that because I think it's BS...I should be able to do as I choose with my life in my opinion.

I might have completely misunderstood how you're feeling, but if not; then you have to find something that interests you. Something that fascinates you, something beautiful that you can appreciate, and be overwhelmed by how amazing it is. Maybe you should try and read a book. If reality doesn't interest you, you can escape it. Or you can write your own book, and fill it with all the wonders that occupy your mind, you can create your own reality. Or perhaps you just haven't seen all that this world has to offer. Have you ever ventured down a curious path to explore the most obscure of locations, that you otherwise would never have even known existed? Have you ever stopped and thought about how vast the universe is, and how great the mysteries are as to how it works?

I used to like reading but I hate it now because I have PTSD and reading triggers it so basically reading makes me feel anxious. and I have nothing I feel I could or would want to write a book on.....nor the energy for such a thing. But yes I am not trying to say I don't appreciate anyting in the world......but those things just don't seem to make up for the fact that this society sucks.

w­ww.­yo­utube.­c­o­m/watch?v=Y6ABIkH7m0s - this is a video I love, the music is nice too, but the images are amazing. Perhaps it will remind you of what a wonderous and strange world it is that we live in. People are just animals, don't judge the whole world by one species; you do not have to define yourself by the standards of humans.
I'm sorry if I'm saying all the wrong things, I just wanted to try and offer any help I could.


I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.



Baris10
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18 Oct 2011, 6:52 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.

And what is it that you would like to do?



Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 6:59 pm

Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.

And what is it that you would like to do?



I am not sure exactly, besides I don't even have the resources to do anything other than probably end up homeless or die...I would not mind living somewhere not so close to people that is self sufficient where I would not have to deal with all this crap. I did not choose to be born into this hell and I never consented to being a part of any of it. I just want to enjoy my life but how can I when there is no escape from this sick society?



Baris10
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18 Oct 2011, 7:05 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.

And what is it that you would like to do?



I am not sure exactly, besides I don't even have the resources to do anything other than probably end up homeless or die...I would not mind living somewhere not so close to people that is self sufficient where I would not have to deal with all this crap. I did not choose to be born into this hell and I never consented to being a part of any of it. I just want to enjoy my life but how can I when there is no escape from this sick society?


You put a picture in my mind that made me smile. You could do the standard; get a job, work, and save up your money. Live off the bare minimum for a while. Then you could live incredibly simply. Buy a small plot of land, you could even build your own house (though I wouldn't reccomend it, unless you were going for a simple structure, such as a form of wooden house); and you could grow crops, or raise chickens etc. Basically a farm. Have you even seen the film "into the wild"? I think you'd love it, it perfectly describes your apparent outlook on life. You could do something similar to what he does (but try not to come to the same ending).



arielhawksquill
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18 Oct 2011, 7:07 pm

You could join Occupy Wall Street--they share your sense of resisting a sick society. Here's a link for the local protests near you: http://healthcareforallcolorado.org/?p= ... y_colorado



Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 7:09 pm

Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.

And what is it that you would like to do?



I am not sure exactly, besides I don't even have the resources to do anything other than probably end up homeless or die...I would not mind living somewhere not so close to people that is self sufficient where I would not have to deal with all this crap. I did not choose to be born into this hell and I never consented to being a part of any of it. I just want to enjoy my life but how can I when there is no escape from this sick society?


You put a picture in my mind that made me smile. You could do the standard; get a job, work, and save up your money. Live off the bare minimum for a while. Then you could live incredibly simply. Buy a small plot of land, you could even build your own house (though I wouldn't reccomend it, unless you were going for a simple structure, such as a form of wooden house); and you could grow crops, or raise chickens etc. Basically a farm. Have you even seen the film "into the wild"? I think you'd love it, it perfectly describes your apparent outlook on life. You could do something similar to what he does (but try not to come to the same ending).


The getting a job part is kind of an issue.....as I said my social skills kind of suck and I don't know how to make myself come off as normal enough to be hired. Also that is just one idea......but I would probably never be able to do anything like that I don't even have a drivers licence let alone any way of affording even a small plot of land or the building of a house.



Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 7:11 pm

arielhawksquill wrote:
You could join Occupy Wall Street--they share your sense of resisting a sick society. Here's a link for the local protests near you: http://healthcareforallcolorado.org/?p= ... y_colorado


All I have to do is get on the bus and go downtown....to participate in that, But that still does not solve what I am supposed to do with myself as far as life goes.



purchase
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18 Oct 2011, 7:13 pm

It's becoming clear to me from seeing all the various things that are the focal points of different people's deep unhappiness that depression is an (ill) state of mind and that people in this state will be unhappy about something no matter what. I do not say this judgmentally, I say it as a fellow sufferer of it. I don't mean to be someone who says "you should be happy, you have so much" or "you have everything to live for" because I know untreated depression makes it so that you can never be happy with what you have and makes you think you have nothing to live for.

I feel like I'm being too blunt but my point is that if you can seek any form of medical help for your depression/PTSD that you haven't already sought, I really urge you to do so because depression and PTSD are illnesses that need treatment and treatment helps me, doesn't make things perfect but helps me to the point that I am able to do things that make me happy and that I have hope for the future...

I hope this hasn't sounded too judgmental/crass/whatever, it is my conviction and I say it cause I think it will help you... it can be hard living in a world that does not legitimize mental illness as real illness but it is real illness.



Last edited by purchase on 18 Oct 2011, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Baris10
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18 Oct 2011, 7:14 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.

And what is it that you would like to do?



I am not sure exactly, besides I don't even have the resources to do anything other than probably end up homeless or die...I would not mind living somewhere not so close to people that is self sufficient where I would not have to deal with all this crap. I did not choose to be born into this hell and I never consented to being a part of any of it. I just want to enjoy my life but how can I when there is no escape from this sick society?


You put a picture in my mind that made me smile. You could do the standard; get a job, work, and save up your money. Live off the bare minimum for a while. Then you could live incredibly simply. Buy a small plot of land, you could even build your own house (though I wouldn't reccomend it, unless you were going for a simple structure, such as a form of wooden house); and you could grow crops, or raise chickens etc. Basically a farm. Have you even seen the film "into the wild"? I think you'd love it, it perfectly describes your apparent outlook on life. You could do something similar to what he does (but try not to come to the same ending).


The getting a job part is kind of an issue.....as I said my social skills kind of suck and I don't know how to make myself come off as normal enough to be hired. Also that is just one idea......but I would probably never be able to do anything like that I don't even have a drivers licence let alone any way of affording even a small plot of land or the building of a house.


The quotes are becoming rather large. I myself hate the concept of a job. However, I have only had two jobs; one was to sit in a room, answering a phone and taking orders from customers (I screwed up a fair amount of orders, e.g. "free" and "three" were sometimes mixed up (customers don't want to pay for three items when they were expecting one for free)); the other was delivering leaflets. I actually enjoyed this, I just walked and listened to music (and sometimes podcasts), the actualy job itself was done almost sub-conciously as I spent the time lost in my own thoughts. You should find a job that suits you, or find a more creative way to make money. Perhaps you have some skills that you could teach, or maybe your family would be willing to fund you to begin with?



Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 7:29 pm

purchase wrote:
It's becoming clear to me from seeing all the various things that are the focal points of different people's deep unhappiness that depression is an (ill) state of mind and that people in this state will be unhappy about something no matter what. I do not say this judgmentally, I say it as a fellow sufferer of it. I don't mean to be someone who says "you should be happy, you have so much" or "you have everything to live for" because I know untreated depression makes it so that you can never be happy with what you have and makes you think you have nothing to live for.

I feel like I'm being too blunt but my point is that if you can seek any form of medical help for your depression/PTSD that you haven't already sought, I really urge you to do so because depression and PTSD are illnesses that need treatment and treatment helps me, doesn't make things perfect but helps me to the point that I am able to do things that make me happy and that I have hope for the future...

I hope this hasn't sounded too judgmental/crass/whatever, it is my conviction and I say it cause I think it will help you... it can be hard living in a world that does not legitimize mental illness as real illness but it is real illness.


I already tried therapy for all that, and anti-depressants for the depression and it had little to no effect....and I am certainly depressed but it is true there is not much for me to look forward to. I mean part of why I am depressed is because of the situation I'm in......I live in a sick society that I don't even fully understand and will never really accept me as I am and I am expected to somehow suceed by societies standards.



Sweetleaf
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18 Oct 2011, 7:32 pm

Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Baris10 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I will probably take a look at that........but yeah I don't know I am just really frusterated and feel like I can't do any of the things I would like to.

And what is it that you would like to do?



I am not sure exactly, besides I don't even have the resources to do anything other than probably end up homeless or die...I would not mind living somewhere not so close to people that is self sufficient where I would not have to deal with all this crap. I did not choose to be born into this hell and I never consented to being a part of any of it. I just want to enjoy my life but how can I when there is no escape from this sick society?


You put a picture in my mind that made me smile. You could do the standard; get a job, work, and save up your money. Live off the bare minimum for a while. Then you could live incredibly simply. Buy a small plot of land, you could even build your own house (though I wouldn't reccomend it, unless you were going for a simple structure, such as a form of wooden house); and you could grow crops, or raise chickens etc. Basically a farm. Have you even seen the film "into the wild"? I think you'd love it, it perfectly describes your apparent outlook on life. You could do something similar to what he does (but try not to come to the same ending).


The getting a job part is kind of an issue.....as I said my social skills kind of suck and I don't know how to make myself come off as normal enough to be hired. Also that is just one idea......but I would probably never be able to do anything like that I don't even have a drivers licence let alone any way of affording even a small plot of land or the building of a house.


The quotes are becoming rather large. I myself hate the concept of a job. However, I have only had two jobs; one was to sit in a room, answering a phone and taking orders from customers (I screwed up a fair amount of orders, e.g. "free" and "three" were sometimes mixed up (customers don't want to pay for three items when they were expecting one for free)); the other was delivering leaflets. I actually enjoyed this, I just walked and listened to music (and sometimes podcasts), the actualy job itself was done almost sub-conciously as I spent the time lost in my own thoughts. You should find a job that suits you, or find a more creative way to make money. Perhaps you have some skills that you could teach, or maybe your family would be willing to fund you to begin with?


Yeah if I had to answer phones all day I would probably end up in the psych ward after the first day because I would end up having a mental breakdown....hell I would be lucky if I lasted a half hour that is how much talking on the phone especially to people I don't know freaks me out. Delivering things would not be so bad though I don't drive so that could be difficult.

There really is not a job that fits me.....and my family can't afford to help me with anything.



shrox
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18 Oct 2011, 7:35 pm

Matt Groening was there years ago...

Image



Baris10
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18 Oct 2011, 7:37 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
purchase wrote:
It's becoming clear to me from seeing all the various things that are the focal points of different people's deep unhappiness that depression is an (ill) state of mind and that people in this state will be unhappy about something no matter what. I do not say this judgmentally, I say it as a fellow sufferer of it. I don't mean to be someone who says "you should be happy, you have so much" or "you have everything to live for" because I know untreated depression makes it so that you can never be happy with what you have and makes you think you have nothing to live for.

I feel like I'm being too blunt but my point is that if you can seek any form of medical help for your depression/PTSD that you haven't already sought, I really urge you to do so because depression and PTSD are illnesses that need treatment and treatment helps me, doesn't make things perfect but helps me to the point that I am able to do things that make me happy and that I have hope for the future...

I hope this hasn't sounded too judgmental/crass/whatever, it is my conviction and I say it cause I think it will help you... it can be hard living in a world that does not legitimize mental illness as real illness but it is real illness.


I already tried therapy for all that, and anti-depressants for the depression and it had little to no effect....and I am certainly depressed but it is true there is not much for me to look forward to. I mean part of why I am depressed is because of the situation I'm in......I live in a sick society that I don't even fully understand and will never really accept me as I am and I am expected to somehow suceed by societies standards.


I'm not sure as to what I can say here legally. But there's a certain chemical that was sysnthesised in switzerland somewhere close to 1940 that has proven itself to be highly effective in curing depression. Though I would never try such a drug, and never ever have; I IMAGINE it would give you a wonderful experience, and that even after the drug was out of your system, you would have a more positive outlook on life. If lets say however, that a person who resided in a country outside of the U.N.; in a country where this drug was legal, they would most certainly first have to research it and make sure they had responsible sitters to have a safe experience.
But I would never condone the use of such a drug...



Baris10
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18 Oct 2011, 7:40 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Yeah if I had to answer phones all day I would probably end up in the psych ward after the first day because I would end up having a mental breakdown....hell I would be lucky if I lasted a half hour that is how much talking on the phone especially to people I don't know freaks me out. Delivering things would not be so bad though I don't drive so that could be difficult.

There really is not a job that fits me.....and my family can't afford to help me with anything.


I had to work 4 hours per day, on fridays and saturdays. I lasted 2 weeks. And delivering leaflets was to every house, not specific ones. I do not drive, I have no need to; and I love to walk. If it's not too intrusive of a question, how old are you?