When things go wrong . . boy do they ever

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These pasts four months have been hell for me. I have had a lot of issues with my roommates. Arguments and such, because I tend to be a space cadet about details. I won't get too deep into that because A, I can understand their irritation when I do something stupid that makes little sense, like forgetting to close the fridge door but remembering what I did for homework last week, and so on.

Worst part of my year? My mother moved in with me and my roomies. I told her about aspergers and autism, she didn't get it. She said I had my head in the clouds that I should understand her, what she means and all that . .. like she makes herself clear to a normal person, let alone me. She is always on my case, and I am almost thirty. Good god, i am almost thirty and I still barely manage having a conversation with someone without it being a total disaster, or remember to brush my hair and brush my teeth or change my socks. Life just sucks . .. it just does.

Yeah, from what i've heard from people thats a typical mom thing. (These same people only had single parent households so I can't comment on the dad's)

I also forget things unfortunately, my short term memory is beyond terrible especially if stressed or anxious. Things like leaving the loaf of bread open after use are pretty normal. Normally when something like that happens in the household I assume flat out its me, but there have been times it has been others and they forget.

I barely manage conversation most of the time either. I feel like i'm treated like a kid even amongst people much younger than I am.

Life does suck sometimes.

To make things totally worse, it might be stress or something, but my quirks have gotten so much worse. I used to get by, you know? Socially speaking, but now everyone I talk to seems to get severely irritated.

(((hugs)))

thanks! =^^=

yeah that has happened to me.

I just got told I need to stop being so spacey that I have been very weird like that for the past couple of days . . . and here I was thinking that's what I get for just choosing to say f**k it and just be myself and act and say what I want and stop watching my tones and mannerisms . . . I was hoping being more myself and worrying less about how I portray myself would reduce stress levels . . . wrong . . . again.

Dear Mirror, Do you have time and a place to yourself where you can work out a timeline to see when the stress intensified? Like, around the time your mother moved in? Honestly, your mother moving in with a group of young people is setting off warning bells...were your roommates consulted before she moved in? Did they have a choice? Is she paying her share? A parent figure will upset the group dynamics, and will affect their sense of freedom, and it is a middle- aged woman's nature to sort of 'take charge'..Is it possible to have an open, honest, 'put all your feelings on the table' meeting, just you and your roommates? Another thing, why did your mother not KNOW about your diagnosis? And to deny it when you are trying to communicate with her? I really think she needs her own place....Sylkat

We tried the meeting thing. We even had a friend of ours, who is in her age range ( a mentor of sorts) come and chat with her when she first moved in. And though my roommates had a say on her moving in, their suggestion in fact because she sounded miserable and lonely at my sister's, the chat really did not work out well. She seemed to agree with people but as soon as we where left alone she started telling me how could I let them say she did not understand? How could I side with them? To top it all off, she likes to claim that I have taken too long to get a career. I went to college the first time straight from high school and moved out with a lady out here in LA state after about a year of college because I was suffering at home with elevated expectations. I dropped out got a job, a few jobs, kept loosing them due to social anxiety. I just started college again I finished my AA degree in business and I am taking my bachelor's in business with concentration on small business management, I thought she would be proud. Instead she thinks that at my age I should have been done and had a job (because at 25 my big sister was already married, out of school as an RN) and I am 28.

Even my NT friends (well my only two friends) agree that she does not seem to know what she wants and cannot be pleased.

Example: I love pretzels, its my fidget food and comfort. And I love shapes. Lines, curves . . . shapes textures I love them. We found halloween pretzles they are shaped like bats and pumpkins. Well last three times we got them she ate them all so when she asked for some of mine from the halloween ones i said no. she got mad. my roomate wanted the container they came in but not the snack, so she gave them to my mom. My mom went on a rant about how this girl who wasnt related to her was nice and gave her snacks and her own daughter would not share pretzlels with her.

o,0 I don't understand her reaction. it was logical of me to not give her any, because i wanted them and she had mine the last two times? and these had shapes!!

Maybe next time you can give her a set amount of pretzels.

Problem is the way she acts, if i give her some i did not give her enough, or too many. My older friend (She is older than my mom) says she is just a brat.

Dear Mirror, Let's get to why a middle aged woman is moving in with her children in the first place, why she does not have her own home. Does she have a job? Is she contributing to the expenses and rent? She wants to be your parent, not an equal roommate, she wants to make decisions, have things her way, this does not work in a group of equals, and she sounds like a manipulator, another thing that does not work in a group. A middle-aged woman arguing over pretzels? Please. She needs her own place, you need to focus on your needs, no one else's. This lady is disrupting your life, and I think a decision needs to be made. Sylkat