Handling being unloved and alone

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...And misunderstood since apparently nobody even here understands where I'm coming from. (Refer to http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt177186.html where not one person bothered to actually answer my question or read my posts before going on their own little offtopic tirades that had nothing to do with what the thread was about:S)

If there's someone capable of understanding what it's like to crave love from males and never get anything but cruel bullying and abuse despite being perfectly friendly towards them, only because of your appearance, I'd like to know so I could talk to someone that gets it for once in my life.

I don't need criticism, I don't need someone posting about some attractive person's problems in my thread because they have a crush on them and think they handling their solvable problems badly is comparable to me having no idea how to solve my UNSOLVABLE, whole life problem of lacking any meaningful, romantic love and affection from anyone because of my ugliness which needs three way-too-expensive surgeries to cure, I need someone with any idea of what I'm talking about. Is there anyone?

I'd like to find anyone in this world that understands that no, friendship is not enough and just because I'm fugly doesn't mean I don't crave true love and affection, even though nobody wants to give it to me, and attempts at even slightly flirting are met with disgusted grimacing, avoiding me, or downright physical violence from both males and masculine lesbians. And no, I'm not pushy, very far from it.

Just to make it clear to anyone unable to understand, this thread is not about my attitude, or about my nonexistent rude behaviour or vibe that doesn't also exist, this thread is not about anyone but me and I won't respond to anyone that litters it with posts about some irrelevant person's problems because they're horny for said person. It's disgusting and vile, that sort of behaviour, more disgusting than using inappropriate words, and I get plenty of that behaviour in real life, where anything I say is overlooked by all males and lesbians (and generally only males and lesbians engage in that type of behaviour with me, though once in a blue moon average women are rude, too, probably because of their own inferiority complexes) because I'm not attractive and therefore, don't matter. Does anyone have any idea where I'm coming from? Because it seems that noone does. Yes, I know, most people are average and are therefore convinced there's no such thing as ugly or beautiful. But even my model beautiful acquinatances who know what a huge difference it makes can't relate to NEGATIVE treatment, though at least none of them tell me it doesn't exist. Nobody that has ever seen one of these bullying situations would argue with me about how horrible it is, they just feel for me, but they can't UNDERSTAND or give me advice, not really. And all people who haven't seen it do is blabber on and on about positive attitude. You don't understand when you smile and males STILL spit on you, literally, and treat you badly and ignore you, any positivity goes out the window very fast. I'd like to see those positive attitudes bitching about how their boyfriends don't buy them enough stuff walk in my shoes for a day, just for one normal day of going out with my friends, and be treated exactly how I'm treated in response to their positive attitude, because I've TRIED all that and it doesn't work. And then I'd like to see how positive they are:D If they're alive by the end of the day, that is.

Again, anyone know what I'm talking about?

I'm sorry but I'll just have to be honest and say no, I can't relate to your experiences. It sounds truly awful to have to go through what you have been through.

I do believe, however, that there is someone for everyone. The hard part is finding them... and in the meantime not letting all the horrible things in life get you too down.

And I find it hard to believe you're "fugly". I'm not sure there is such a thing as a truly "fugly" person.

I hope you one day find the love that you are seeking.

I am sorry about that and totally relate to your situation-it actually came to a head yesterday actually for me with a friend who I never pressured in anyway for a deeper relationship and found out its not because of their feelings on an age difference which I respected but when this person started to want to hang out with a person 3-4 younger than me and the age difference problem all of a sudden went away and that person is younger and better looking and wanting to move very quickly with them so after 1 get together-I have been having deep feeling towards this person for over a year and I finally found out it was because of my looks and really not age-I feel your pain every day and also would like to know what we possibly did to be treated this way by other people-I have been very upset by the recent events and your post has touched me very much-but I do totally understand what you are talking about and I am as lost and torn up inside-I want and I am pretty sure you want what out NT peers have-happiness,companionship,love,etc etc and it seems to be elusive and unattainable because of superficial people only concerned with physical looks and social/financial/level of employment status-inner beauty means very little-no ome will get past looks to even talk to find that out and it hurts-it hurts and always hurts.I am hurting right now-I do totally understand your hurt-I cant figure it out why.

Last edited by Radiofixr on 21 Oct 2011, 7:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.

double post

Visit a country or countries far from your own. In a distant place where everybody looks different from you anyway, your looks won't be measured by your home town's local beauty norms. What is considered ugly in your home town might be considered interestingly exotic elsewhere. But you would likely have to go outside your own country to get far enough away from local beauty norms.

I wish I could travel but I just have no money for it. Also, I don't know if I buy it - are deformities on the skeletal level really considered "exotic" anywhere?:S I think that advice goes better for people of mixed races or something like that where racism might be a factor.

I relate. I'm in the same boat, that one where you don't look at yourself and think 'desperate' but you know you'd jump at the first person whoever actually wanted you & put up with all the crap they could ever throw simply because it's better than not having anyone. I would.

It's nights like this where I'd rather force myself to sleep (Often hoping permanently) than spend the next three hours destroying any slither of some self-worth & self-esteem I had slowly built.

All the people who feel this way should get together!! ! I mean, if you have absolutely no requirements from the other person except they they'll be with you.... shouldn't that make it really easy to meet people?

There should be a dating site for people who are happy to be with anybody.

hi