Having no goals, catch-22?
I notice there are a lot of frustrated people, especially on this board, because they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, a job, a job in their field of interest and so on.
I feel at peace a lot of the time because there aren't many things I want. But at the same time, i feel that it's that same lack of ambition that causes the occasional suicidal thoughts (i.e. since I have nothing I look forward to or yearn for, I arrive at the conclusion that death is the answer.)
Is this a damned if you do, damned it you don't type situation?
Last edited by nilescrane on 19 Oct 2011, 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
Seems to be life's big mystery.
Well people who successfully stave off depression while remaining content seem to do it with faith in something. Faith that there is a greater meaning and purpose. You don't necessarily have to have big unsatisfied goals to be one of these people, you can be someone who enjoys walks through the garden and eating breakfast and collecting old license plates and so on. I imagine they do everything they do with faith that everything has meaning. That's how they can do it so patiently and with such abandon. Everything is unfolding as it should and going toward this greater purpose and they are supposed to be there at this moment examining a purple flower and that is all.
I say "imagine" cause I'm not one of these people. Well I probably was til I was ten.
I feel the SAME exact way every single day. There is nothing to look forward to. You basically just have to accept the fact that people like us aren't really wanted around, who wants to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, or an employee with an ASD? I personally have given up on all my ambitions. Life as I know it is just a lose/lose situation.
It's sad when you don't have a shoulder to cry on, or someone to comfort you. Sometimes suicidal thoughts are that comfort...for me anyways.
I understand the despair -- been there. Many years i felt like a disaster looking for a place to happen. One of the better shrinks i met told me it has to do with generalization, which belongs to the autistic trait of b&w thinking.
If you get rejected three times, it doesn't mean you are going to be rejected for the rest of your life. One failure doesn't mean all is lost.
The best way to straighten this negative overall perspective is the simple "One day at a time." At least that's what helped me creeping out of my hole many times.
I think I can relate to your post, in the sense that, because of a lack of goals there's a peaceful simplicity in my life. And even when I feel an ambition to do something, it's not interesting to other people. I look forward to my long, solitary walks and for some people, that is plain sad. Then again, people who work hard to get "somewhere" and complain about it every single moment along the way, even once they get it- I think that is also sad.
It is a bit of a catch-22 in this perspective because it can go from one extreme to the other, and it can be a painful realization that we are very different from those people with successful careers and serious relationships. Suicidal thoughts come and go for me also, but I wouldn't want to lose the experiences and sensations that I have. Death will certainly come on it's own time.
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