A strange feeling in the pit of my stomach gnawing away. I feel things are so pointless, at the moment life is great, I am working towards the only thing I ever wanted, I'm living in the city of my dreams, I have supportive friends and a loving family back home, yet I feel so utterly alone in the universe.
Sometimes I fantasize about throwing myself in front of the train, not a feeling of despair but an indescribable ache in my soul. I know I don't want to die though, when I recently went for a chest xray I was sweating with fear for my health.