Dropped Out of College

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I really don't know if I made the correct decision or not-at the time, I felt so engulfed by fear I couldn't think.

In high school, I was harrassed by my classmates in any IT related course I took. Everything from sexist comments to physical harm. I suffered through it, because I loved the courses so much.

I applied for a programming course in college. For a while, I was incredibly thankful that people were kind to me. But later on, a classmate began stalking me. If I was not at school, he would send me seven or so emails asking for my location. At first, I thought nothing of it. But then the events began to escalate. He asked me out five times-the last two times I was harsh with him. The last time he asked me, he told me he would commit suicide if I did not go out with him. He kept asking me if he could stay the night at my apartment (eventually wording it in a perverse way) looking for any excuse to ask that question. I kept telling him no, and told him he was starting to scare me.

Then he started following me home without me knowing until I looked behind (even after-school hours). The last time he did it, I screamed at him to stop following me, but he continued anyways (he seen me in a restaurant and followed me). When I opened the door to get into my apartment building, he rushes and tries to come in, and I have to physically push him out (and it took a while). I decided I should drop out of the course for my own safety.

When he finds this out, he shows up at my apartment building. I walk back up without a word. He then sends me four emails telling me that he loves me, and that he will drop the course with me. He states the time he first saw me, my exact position in the classroom and everything. I threatened to call the cops, he said he would stop. But he didn't. So I dropped out of my course even though I really loved it. I didn't want to call the cops, I didn't want any trouble. I was afraid to tell my professors because he was constantly praised by them.

The first few days of me being out of the course, he sends me an apology email saying he didn't know what he did. He sends me another giving me his phone number. Today, it has been a week since I've been out of the course, but he showed up at my door again.

My parents didn't think it was a big deal. I have no idea how to tell them I dropped out of college either.

Whoa whoa whoa!

You dropped out of college because someone else was an a**hole?

No, no, no! There are many good reasons to drop out of college, and this isn't one of them. Tell your parents what happened right now. They will know who to contact. You have a psychological problem where you don't stand up for yourself. I know, I have the same thing. Let your parents stand up for you.

It amazes me that your parents aren't worried. What the hell is up with that... You need to go to some authority figure. This guy is potentially very dangerous. He's already tried to forcibly enter your home. Come on, man! Where do you draw the line! Sort this f****r out.

You are risking your future because of some weirdo. Tell your parents, talk to the school.
You need to get back into your classes. School is important! If you're being harassed, the school can do something about it, but you have to let them know.

There are people out there working their butts off just to get into school, don't blow it!

Well to be fair many schools don't take these kinds of threats seriously. Be wary of that..

Not only is it horrible that you're losing such an amazing opportunity in life, but for that guy to take it that far you absolutely need to call the police. That man sounds extremely dangerous and he could be a life threatening danger to you, himself, or someone else. He's already threatened a suicide that means he's unstable. The level of harassment he's reached with you has already broken the law. You need to get together with your friends, family, and teachers, and go to the police because something needs to be done about that man. You don't deserve to suffer or make any kind of sacrifice because of an abusive human being like him. I also don't completely agree with the The_Perfect_Storm I do think there are schools that take those threats seriously. If necessary you may need bone up a bit and not let the school push you around if they don't agree. Also don't let yourself hesitate over whether or not people will take it seriously. You dropped a course over it that's huge. I have a feeling that this will be taken seriously, because from what you've wrote here if it's correct it does sound like a serious potentially dangerous situation.

Last edited by Angel_ryan on 06 Feb 2012, 8:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OMG don't drop out because of this!

Document the creep behavior (pictures, video, or eye witnesses) and then go to the police. That's why you pay the taxes... to have those types of services available to you.

Let them deal with it. That guy might be all big and bad when dealing with you. But I guarantee you he'll pee in his pants when armed police knock on his door and question him. And then you'll never see or hear from him again.

A college degree is a must!! ! Even if you find a good job now, you may regret not getting a degree a few or 10 or 20 years from now. Imagine finding an IT job, only to be passed for a promotion because you have no degree? And the promotion goes to an incompetent co-worker just because they do have a degree?

No no. Finish school. That's all that matters right now. We are here for you. Remember that.

No, some do, but there are horrible examples where colleges/universities don't. Especially when women are concerned. And that's when things get out of hand.

Hon, things are already out of hand. You need to document this behavior. File a complaint with the campus police regarding anything that took place on campus, and then with the regular police regarding whatever took place off campus. (They may just send you back to campus police, but there will at least be a record of your having tried.) And do contact your professors and let them know why you dropped your classes this semester. You need to maintain your relationships with them. You never know, they may be more understanding than you believe they will be, especially if you let them know you've had to take legal action because of his behavior. Remember, just because you've dropped your courses this semester doesn't mean you can't go back in the summer sessions or next fall, and you should. Hopefully, he will have already finished the courses and won't be in your classes next semester. Good luck.

The reason why the examples out there are noticeable is because they're not as common as one would lead you to believe. If a school doesn't do something about harassment, they can get into trouble for it.
And colleges rely on reputation.