I dont want to live on this planet anymore

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I'm having a really hard time lately. I just want to leave this planet and all the idiot nt's who inhabit it.

If i could find a painless and swift suicide method id be gone right now. I have no ropes or anything to hang myself with, and i dont want to mess it up. I wish i had a gun.

Today i also decided that i should stop taking my Zoloft as it is just making me feel worse.

I hate humanity.

HammerHorror, I'm so sorry. I've been there myself.

A word to the wise: listen to those voices that say you will screw it up and it's too much trouble. They are good voices, and I am very, very grateful to them. My life sucked for a good portion of my twenties, but it has taken a turn for considerably better now. Don't let suckage today win. (But I'm not trying to be all cheery. Suckage sucks.)

I hereby give you permission to eat an entire dessert of your choosing in all its multiple servings (as long as you're not diabetic) or to play the video game of your choice nonstop until you fall asleep, or to listen to your music loudly enough to annoy your neighbors but not so loud that they call the police. Whatever floats your boat, isn't illegal and doesn't accomplish the checking out bit, do it and with gusto.

I'd also check with your doctor about Zoloft - you have the right to go off it, but most of those drugs need to be stepped down gradually or you risk bad side effects.

hammerhorror,

we're here to listen if you want to vent.

I don't either, why do you think I drink? But yeah I only know this feeling too well...sorry you have to experiance it.

I'm with you. I hate humanity, personally. I really just wish I could live away from society, just me and my dog. Dogs are awesome. They don't judge you for not making eye contact or not saying the right thing. All they do is offer unconditional loyalty.

Aww, I thought that was a Futurama reference...

But, seriously, aside from telling you to obsessively watch every available episode Futurama, Dave the Barbarian, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Red Dwarf, Fairly Oddparents, Making Fiends (just the web episodes at first), and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (and, yes, I totally did this), I strongly second that suggestion that you talk to your doctor about going off your medicine. Apparently depending on the medicine if you go off of it suddenly your body might not get the message and still experience some of the terrible side effects.

I wish you the best of luck, and do feel free to vent!

Sweetie, you're just a kid. I don't say that to downplay what you are feeling. I'm 27 and have been passively suicidal for 17 years, actively suicidal for 13 years. I say that because you have a lot of life ahead of you. Ya might want to pace yourself. I want to tell you it gets better, but parts of it don't. Some things get worse, some get better and some just get more confusing. I will tell you that as I got older, I realized that it wasn't me that made me feel that way. It was other people. You have to protect yourself from people that bring you down, even from family. I haven't spoken to my only sibling in years and I'm much happier for it. I call my mother only when absolutely necessary and I'm much happier for it.

Life gets tough, it gets easy and then it gets tough again. I could tell you something cliche like "It's how you handle trials that brings you the greatest rewards", but I don't believe that. s**t happens. Good s**t, bad s**t, messy s**t. It happens. It's okay to feel that way, but there has to be something that brings you joy. Even something small, doesn't have to be some grandiose craft project or anything. But you can't be absolutely joyless? I've never met anyone yet who couldn't find a small thing to enjoy. Live in that enjoyment for a while. Might make ya feel better.

Rainshadow, I'm in my 40s and I'll say the same to you: you're young yet. I recall 27 being one of the more difficult years for me, and things didn't actually start to "get better" until my mid-30s. I can't speak for everyone or for every single day, but my life did, indeed, get better: it was a long haul, though.

Getting away from people who bring you down and finding people who support you is part of the key, and though that's harder for a person on the spectrum, it's not impossible. Your special interests are the key: find places where you can interact with people who like the same stuff you do. Avoid the "cool" people in those places and focus on meeting the ordinary ones (avoid the toxic needy people too, even if you are one yourself - I've been there. Often, but not always, two needy people make...a big mess.)

I've been in this place myself. I've been depressed on and off for at least the last 10 years. It is OK some days, and other days i want to just die.

I won't trivialise your problems, because everyone has problems. I hope you will find a way to cope with life, in a better fashion than I've managed so far. You are still young, so there is hope for you yet. That's the good news.

I can't deal with NTs and their judgements and social snubbing of me, and the constant panic attacks and over thinking that I indulge in.

People are stupid, but those stupid traits allow us to rebuild society after it collapss. When we can keep governments stable for longer periods of time then we will be more intelligent overall.