my mom justifies everything my dad does

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Frieslander
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22 Apr 2012, 1:52 pm

He doesn't do anything all that bad, but he does some things that are bad. Years ago I used to think he abused me (as some of you know); now I don't think I do, but I just get very anxious around him (either because of Multiple Complex Developmental Disorder or Schizoaffective Disorder--I have one of those two). Now I just get very nervous around him.

I was in the car with my dad and mom yesterday, and he did some bad things while driving that could almost be considered wrong because of impatience he has when driving. I THINK if a police officer saw what he did once, my dad would have been pulled over.

I talked to my mom about this sort of thing, and she said she didn't think he did anything wrong. This got me thinking: What else does she make excuses for with him? A year or so ago, my brother and I noticed some unkind things he would do to her. My brother asked her if it bothered her; she said no. But maybe she doesn't even know she's making excuses for him a lot and doesn't even realize it? Maybe she'd be less depressed if she stopped him from doing those things?



WerewolfPoet
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23 Apr 2012, 8:08 pm

Sometimes, love can cause a person to view a person through a different mindset--"rose tinted glasses," if you will. She may be so emotionally attached to him that she is blinded to the less positive realities about him.
Of course, she could also be in denial--she may not want to admit that he is not the "perfect" person that she would like to believe that he is, so she tells herself (and, of course, others) what she wants to believe rather than what she actually believes so that she can convince herself that "all is well."
At any rate, I wish your family the best of luck in dealing with this situation.



SanityTheorist
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25 Apr 2012, 12:08 pm

http://www.ehow.com/how_8782951_deal-enablers.html


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