Dealing with jealousy...

Post Reply New Topic

Okay, my aunt has dated sh***y men in the past. Real abusive men who took advantage of her in every way. Now she's dating a really good guy, who just so happens to be a millionaire. Like he's going to shoot wild game in Africa with his father for the weekend and spent the night in the penthouse suite of a 5 star hotel f*****g wealthy. I'm really happy for my aunt, I am. But I'm barely struggling to get by, I'm unemployed, didn't make enough money for unemployment and I'm running out of cash fast from student loans. If I defer my loans, I believe my interest rate will go up. Basically, I don't know how to deal with the fact that my aunt is dealing with a man who makes more money in a year than I will my entire life. It makes me feel really pathetic. What's worse is that I feel horrible for feeling this way. Why am I so f*****g jealous? I have a man who loves me and I would be able to live comfortably with him some day. I guess my aunt's financial woes have been solved overnight with this man and I guess I wish I could have my troubles whisked away that quickly. Does this make me a horrible person? How can I deal with it? >.<

Sweetie, join the club!

There are people who will ALWYAS have it better/ easier than you do, sometimes in obscene ways. YOu cant help that. What YOU have to do is figure out your student loans, do your s**t, etc. Maybe one day youll land a rich catch who will take you to Africa and buy you pearls but now you have to focus on your own life

These emotions of yours are completely natural, and you should be ashamed. That's part of it, and a good thing.
(Silly as it might sound).

You're jealous. It is an ugly but humane emotion. There's no need to worry, you're not a horrible person.
What if you were a most gruesome and perversely twisted individual? Would it matter? Do you hurt anyone? Is your man affectionate towards a monster? lol

Anyway, go live life and get some sensible advice from someone else thank me, lol.

"Just be yourself" and everything will work out fine.
No!
You need to to be "Your best self!"

Strive for that.

Stop making excuses. Stop procrastinating. You can be your 'best self' right now, if you so wish.
It's not easy, hell, I'm not saying I'm 'being my best self', but it's the attempt that matters.
Keep trying until you manage. One failure means you adjust your approach and go for it again.

I know it sounds cheesy, but that's what everyone else does. They focus on themselves and struggle, making the best out of it as they go along. They'll fall down and break the glass, but they'll always end up picking up the pieces.

EDIT: Nevermind. Whatever. I'm just bitching at this point. >.<

I just get so frustrated that I'll never be as good as those people. Nowhere even close. I'll always be a worthless peon.

The actual worth of a person has nought to do with how much money they have, or do not have.

50% of new college graduates are unemployed:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.c ... 232D21.DTL

Your parents had opportunities that you won't. Pennsylvania is considered an "unemployment hotspot". Unless you're willing to move, you will likely be always unemployed.

I completely know where you're coming from. My mother has some friends who have so much money I can not even imagine it. Any time they want something they not only just go out and buy it, they buy the best and most expensive kind they can find. It blows my mind. I am struggling to get by on student loans, and when I finish my education I have no idea what I will do because I do not believe I will ever be able to work the vast majority of jobs. Every line of work I have tried has caused me to break down and end up worse off than I started. I feel like if my mother's friends gave $50,000 to someone like me instead of buying another new truck or something, it could turn around someone's life instead of just being a selfish luxury. I like to think if I am ever in their situation, which granted is practically guaranteed never to happen, I would take what I needed to live a secure, modest life, and use the rest to help other people who truly need it.

I don't know what to say that will help other than commiserate but I do hope that you can find something to keep you going until you and your boyfriend can live together. In the meantime at least know that to someone like me, your ability and willingness to take minimum wage work if you can find it is a genuinely admirable and almost inconceivable ability. It sounds like you are working really hard to manage with what you have available; I respect that and I'm sure any other decent person would as well, so I hope your boyfriend does.

Just remember that money can't buy happiness. It may appear to at first, but often times the wealthy have a lot more problems to deal with than the rest of us.