I think I may have internet addiction

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(sorry if I didn't structure this message well. I do try, but there's some... disparity somehow. let me know if you see some way I could do it better.)

I like to "relax" by spending like half my day on the internet, mostly on one forum for Transformers fans.

Ironically I think I don't actually relax, but am constantly feeding off the stimulation.
I have been attending Buddhist meditation sessions and they're finally starting to give me something I can notice. I need to rest my mind from activity regularly. and also, to be receptive to my body, my mind, and my situation. Another irony is that I haven't had time to make it happen yet.

I think part of it is to fulfill my socializing needs, and the other part is ... I dunno. maybe a sense of security, which in part is from relative "order" (or at least concrete rules and limitations).

I really don't know where else I can get any socializing done that actually interests me. (in case you hadn't heard, most of the local fans hate me) On the internet it's easy to walk away from another person you dislike talking to. In real life there's an etiquette to discontinuing conversation, and I really suck at that kind of thing.

It's strange that I can't reply online in any way other than subconciously without spending like an hour editing my post. I mean I feel like otherwise it's just mental diarrea. I think the problem is that it doesn't give you time to think about what you're saying, because all your thoughts are directed towards the dialog you're typing, and the act of typing. I think when speaking there's a little bit more time to think in that second before you speak. Maybe I'm wrong. I am a bit of a perfectionist.
Still, it takes a LOT of time to actually read what people say, think about it, and respond. It really takes hour when you're really involved and invested. I sorta like trying to say something that makes as much sense as possible. I wonder if I could get a job that involves that.


I do find it hard to set limits. Everything in my life seems relative. It's true that life is all related and relative, and that our necessary mental ordering of things is an illusion and not reflective of life, but I missed the part where it says "necessary". I mean I WANT things to make sense but... I don't know how.
If there's something interesting on the internet, and I'm capable of using my brain on it at the moment, I put priority on that, because tomorrow I might be brain-dead all day. I wonder how much of that is due to staying up late on the computer.
It's hard to say "I'm going to do [this], [now], no matter what." because if I displease myself by not letting myself do what I want, I might be too conflicted to do what I'm "supposed" to do.
I'm also dissociative, so I'm, (as they say,) "trying to pull myself up by my own bootstraps". I have a hard time asserting myself and my will, with myself just as much as with others.

I don't know. I know in general there are a lot of things like negative thinking that need to be corrected. Each excuse or put-down addressed and countered. Each one has an appropriate response. I just don't know what they are. I sorta wish I had an android friend or something. a program on my computer. some flash cards like those severely autistic children have. but I'm not sure if it would retain it's meaning each time.

I've thought about going to a 12-step group, but it just hasn't opened up for me... the same thing for a "shrink" for counselling. actually that's much more difficult to find a good one, I think.
It's also not just a matter of addiction that needs to be eliminated. The addiction is there to fill something missing in my life. I have to address those needs. (like socializing, problem solving...)
Strangely enough, for much of the past 6 months I've had a strangely unnaturally large appetite, even sometimes when I'm full. This is in contrast to how I've been for the past 20 years (I'm almost 30) when my appetite was unusually low and I would tend to under-eat. I'm still more or less depressed and anxious. It's possible I'm less depressed and/or more anxious, and the depression causing loss of appetite has lessened while the anxiety is now causing overeating. I have had signs of anxiety for most of my life, I think. Teeth grinding, for one.

Let me see if I can summarize the issues. relaxing/stimulation, socializing, grouping concepts, dissociation, corrective reasoning, general addiction. I... think that's it.

I'm actually doing pretty good lately, I think.

I can relate...too much lol. I spend all my waking time bar a few hours on the net, on various forums. It is frustrating, especially when you think of all the other things you could or should be doing. It fulfils my need for human contact and for stimulation.

I'm a net junkie too. I only post on a couple of forums, but I blog lots. And I'm a fatal wikipedia addict. I read about anything and everything just for the heck of it... one day, I'll be a human encyclopedia.

Internet addict? make the whole question uppercase with a exclamation mark after.

I refused to get a computer until last year,no I cant get off the thing on my days off........I hardly read anymore,do art,leave the house.I had the same problem when I started playing Resident Evil(the last game I had played before that was Pong), I thought video games where a vampiric waste of a persons "life force" and got to find out first hand why that was true,and why I didnt mind.....beats reality TV.

I thought I was anti-social until I found this web site and realized I do like some human contact,even if it is only over some wires.....go figure.At least I'm not at the mall,just feels like maybe I should be doing something three dimensional?

It was not that bad before WP.

Back then life was fairly simple, Death to all humans! Slow death to all humans!

Mostly I worked on making enough money to avoid dealing with them.

I had my books, my writting, research, and was content.

Since WP, I have found there are thousands like me. It has been just addictive.

I am now working on the range, this is a mixed bag.

When I noticed no money coming in I did pay attention.

Hopefully my WP research is burning out. Phase one at least.

My past has been spending years gathering information, then writting it up as a book.

WP and some spinal aches came together, so I did need some sit around time.

I sell on ebay, but I never tried to read it all.

Pretty bad. Forums are my bane. Spamming is my true calling, and this (and a couple of other) boards are just impossible for me to get away from. I don't even enjoy it. I get so much pleasure out of other things, but it's easy, thus seductive.

Addiction is word that carries so much baggage that I hesitate to use it anymore, particularly in cases of behavior. Getting into a routine isn't the same thing.

You mention being a bit of a perfectionist... imo that's like saying 'a little bit pregnant'. If you like/need things to be done well or not at all, don't apologize, just go ahead and own it. I'm a Perfectionist, so 'good' at it that I can take forever to edit, as well, so I think I understand. But office memos and internet posts aren't Pulitzer prize categories, so I try to keep some perspective.

What I've gleaned lately is that there are many permutations of perfectionism. Mine seem to be problems with initiating a task... can focus well once I get going, but oh, the difficulty with starting is great. And then, once focused, the difficulty becomes.... wait for it.... walking away from a task! Does this sound familiar? Anybody? Right.

So, tricks I use that might be helpful.

-Decide on the weekend how much time you think you should/want/need to spend at various activities for the next few days or for the whole week. Include things like 'interacting with people in person', 'acting like an adult at work', 'internet games'... you get the idea. Doesn't matter that it might seem goofy.... trust me. Write a little schedule, keeping your energy levels in mind.

-Before starting a task, whether an on-line game, reviewing email or posting here or elsewhere, think about the max time you want to give that task... State that time period out loud to engage both hearing and speech. Write that time down on paper, you hand or anywhere, to engage your hands. Involving the senses takes the idea of time out of the mind and gives it substance, somehow.

-Set a kitchen timer or alarm clock for a generous interval. Feel free to reset when it goes off, of course, because you ARE in control, after all. This helps with temporal awareness without relying on the need to keep looking at (or ignoring, in my case) a watch, clock, or whatever.

Last one... Quite often I used to start reading in the evening, get lost in the book and notice suddenly that it's 3 or 4 a.m. and panic a bit because I need to go to work in a few hours. Not good. My favorite reading areas now have a timer on each of the lights, the ones you use to foil burglars when you go out of town or use to get the coffeepot going before you wake up. The timers are set for 11 p.m. I'll be reading along and all of a sudden the room will go dark. The momentary shock of being in the dark is enough to engage my thinking process and remember that I really need to go to sleep.

I get lost in time on ebay, too, and in home improvement stores, the grocery... anywhere there's a great quantity of anything, so I decide before beginning just how much time I want to give each activity.

My way of categorizing this kind of getting lost is that I tend to drift around in the space-time continuum. Makes it seem more exotic than saying that I procrastinate.

Does anyone else cope in this way?

I'm also addicted to the Internet. I would be posting here from 5 in the morning, until 10 in the evening, if I was to let myself. I find that the best solution is for me to get out of my flat for most of my waking hours, and come back at 9:30 at night. That way, I have three hours in the morning and one hour at night to post here, and visit other sites.

I was addicted, took a four-year hiatus, now I'm addicted again. Got a jornada 720 handheld pc off of ebay and started setting it up just so I could have more flexibility in how easily I can access the net.

I'm that way with sleep. I love being asleep and being awake, but I hate going from one to the other.


They sound like variations of the same thing, but those are good ideas.


Well, I do procrastinate.


I don't have anything else to do though.


I want some portable computing. even just to keep track of things. but... it's a complicated tool I don't really know how to use properly in the context of real life. I need a full-size keyboard though. none of those shrunken laptop ones. maybe one of those palm-whatevers, with a plug in fold-up keyboard.

god, I'm SO BORED. I spent all day on the internet, I guess to counter-balance how active I've been lately. I have nothing to do.

Go for a walk. A real long one.

Why would anyone want to do that?

good question. well, when you can MANAGE to do that, it sometimes helps... at least temporarily.
It's rarely something I can use to battle this though.
I need something that connects me to real life and keeps me there.

Sorry. It always helps me get a hold on what matters. As opposed to being on the computer, which only harms me.