my blues. not worth it.

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So,

I decided life is not worth it in the end. This is not a difficult time in my life specifically... I just think I've lived enough (36 years) to make some kind of evaluation.

I made friends, met women, got a job, a career, and recently a diagnosis... and still, bleh. I'm really not sure what to make of it. I'm not crying (never do), not having a meltdown nor anything. This is the end of a completly cold, rational line of thought.

I'm not saying life doesn't have good points. Good movies, books, few friends here and there. It's just, in the end of the day, I don't think it's worth all the trouble. I'd rather simply, not exist. I'd love not having to meet people anymore, not going to work, not to meet anyone's expectations.

Sadly, I have a family that would be devastated if I let go, so, unless I find a way out, I'm in a life sentence. I'll figure it out though.

I imagine there are some here in the same situation.

Peace.

Yeah. A lot of folks, including me, have been where you are. I've never seen a poll about it, but I'd imagine 75% of all aspies have experienced depression and maybe 10% has attempted suicide. Again, I'm guessing. I did learn something from my suicide attempt, though: the world keeps turning and people aren't gonna miss you all that much. May as well stay alive. We're all gonna die anyway.

Sweet Pea hugs