My Auntie is Dying

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I've just come back from visiting my auntie, who lives in a nursing home. Over the past fews days, her general health has gone downhill and she will not recover. She's 88, so it's no big surprise, but the deterioration is much quicker than we anticipated. The nurse says that the doctor will be coming in later. It's thought that he will start administering morphine. The only treatment she will be receiving is palliative, which we agree with. She seems to be a little distressed or panicky, so I would like nothing more than for that to pass. I don't really know how long it will take for her to finally pass away. Considering how she was today (and my Dad says he saw a big change from yesterday), I think it will be just a few days.

Here's a little background to her story. She's my Mum's older sister, by 10 years, who has never been married or in a long term relationship and has no children. She lived with her mother and worked as an elevator operator, in a large furniture store, for about 30 years. her hobby was embroidery and she has produced some amazing table covers, etc. She was often in my house, when I was growing up and came for dinner, twice a week. She used to dance around the living room, with me in her arms. I remember the song 'Blue Spanish Eyes' being played. The most important thing in her life is her family. She's bipolar and spent many years in and out of a psychiatric hospital. That was a very difficult time for the family. After she had a stroke, she went to stay in an old folk's home. Since then, she has had no bipolar episodes. She was in that home for 10 years, until a bout of illness caused her to be moved into a nursing home. She has been in this home for 18 months and it has been the best 18 months of her life. The care she has received has been second to none and they are happy to support her and us during these final days. My Mum is the last of her siblings.

Sweet Pea hugs

You have beautiful memories of her. I hope you have some of her embroidery around. I will say a Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her.

I am sorry to hear about your dear aunt. It is hard to see someone you care about slip away. It is nice of you to share your memories here.

Aww...sorry to hear this. My thoughts to your Aunt and hugs for you.

I'm very sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you're very close to your Aunt, and you have fond memories of the times you've spent with her. Keep those memories close to your heart, as they will help you get through the hard times to come.

I'm sorry to hear about this. Your Aunt sounds like a fascinating lady. I hope she has a peaceful passing and that you and your mother find some comfort in the happy memories you have of her.

I send you and your family sympathy in this tragic time.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. My auntie died peacefully this morning, at about 9am. I'll really miss her. As my daughter says, she was a very cheerful lady and that's just the perfect description of her. I have lots of very fond memories of her. I have a few fairly traumatic memories too. My auntie wouldn't have been out of place here on WP. I worry about my Mum, as she's the last of 6 siblings, but she seems OK today. She's had some time to take in that this was going to happen, so it's not as bad for her as it could have been.

We've spent the day doing all the stuff that has to be done when someone dies. The funeral is going to be on Saturday morning. There won't be many there, just because most of her peers have died. There'll probably be just the family and some of the staff, from the nursing home, who've gotten to know and love her, over the past year and a half. We've planned a nice send off for her anyway.

It's truly the end of an era for me and my family.

Well after going through the grieving process, hopefully it can be the start of a new era for you and your family.
Of course I don't expect this to happen in the next morning but sometime in the not so distant future.

I am sad to hear about your loss. My condolences to your family in this difficult time.

I've been away from WP for a bit so missed this.

So sorry to hear that you've lost your auntie. I know sometimes after a loss it can catch up with you a bit more in the weeks after.

I really hope you and you're family are doing ok.

Thanks again to everyone for your kind wishes. The funeral was at 9.15am on Saturday and everything went well. My daughter was there with us. She had a little cry and her behaviour was perfect. We feel it was right that she was there and she has been very mature about the whole thing. We went back to a hotel for 'lunch' (if you can call it that, as it was 10am, although it was fish and chips or steak pie) and we had a collection for the nursing home's activity fund. My parents visited the home today, with some flowers, a thank you card and the money we had collected. The staff were overwhelmed.

To be honest, this has been one of the easiest bereavements that my family has experienced. There has been a few tragic deaths. My cousin (my Mum's brother's son) was murdered for no reason, in a stranger attack, and I my Mum's younger sister collapsed and died, suddenly at just 48yrs. My auntie was 88 and had lived longer than any of her siblings. It's sad, but it's much easier to deal with, when the person is old and has lived a full life.