I think what I'm the most tired of is when people try to....

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....give me hope where there is none. That is a lot worse than not having hope to begin with. This is a pitfall that I fall into all the time. I get thrown into despair, then a little bit of hope comes and that, too, is dashed. This happens every single time. With romance, with the work force, with friends, with everything. And all it's doing is making me into an even more depressed person than I already was. I didn't always use to be this way; people often tell me "well be positive and things will look up."

But they don't realize that I was positive for years and years, yet nothing good ever really happened. To look around and see people 6 years younger than me with everything in the world (that they usually didn't work for) makes me sick, especially since I'm 24 and work my ass off, but because I'm not handsome, or charismatic, or even healthy, I don't get squat. All I get is ridicule, a label of "creepy" or "negative" and a bunch of jokers who don't understand what I'm going through saying "it'll get better." It's easy to say that when you already have everything. Besides, I'm half dead anyway, so if things get better when I'm like twice my age now, I'll either be dead by then or close to it.

What makes me also feel really bad is that I don't even fit in with the people on here. I feel like a complete alien, like I just shouldn't exist. At the same time, I'm too cowardly to take my own life. So I'm forced to live out this sham of a life for the rest of my life. I honestly believe I may have committed genocide in a past life, and that's why I'm in this hole. No one should have a life like this. I'm ugly enough where I can't even get any friends, I'm always sick (I'm battling like 10 different things that can't be cured), and even my own mom wants nothing to do with me, though I'm trying to help support her. I have one disease that could literally kill me in 10 minutes if it wanted to. Secretly, over the past few years, I've been wishing it would.

Despite all this, I've done as much good as I can. They say honesty and doing good things is its own reward and makes the person happy, but as a person who lives this way and does as many good things as he can, I can say this is a lie. I wish things would change, but they haven't for the past 24 years, so they probably never will.

Last edited by DialAForAwesome on 27 Jul 2012, 10:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think this is a very good post and I don't get it applies just to people who have AS. Anyone who is down on their luck would read into this.

I generally find the intentions well placed, I mean it is better to try to keep an upbeat attitude, but I do find that these people cannot really relate.

Thanks, and I'm sorry, but while you were reading this, I actually added more to the post.

Comparing yourself to people better off sets you up for depression. Try to compare yourself to others worse off than you or to times in your life when you were worse off. Sometimes it's easier to move forwards when you look at where you were, not where you want to be.

Even if I didn't compare myself to these people, I'd still be depressed. Like I said, I've been sick for a long time with things that cannot be cured. Still can't get a better job where I don't have to live paycheck to paycheck, or get a girlfriend, or hell, even get a friend. No matter what I do, it fails. And it's all because of things I can't control.

DialAForAwesome,

I know how you feel. It's easy to have negative feelings when you compare yourself to others. If people keep telling you it will get better, maybe you should try asking them what they would do if they were you. You may disagree with their answers, but at least you'll get some opinions from a different point of view.

Hopefully there is something that brings joy in your life. Do you have any hobbies? They are usually a great way to meet like minded people.

Yeah, but......let's see. It's hard to explain. I think I mentioned this in another thread, but I'm way deep into my interests, to the point where even other Aspies get weirded out by me. So then I attempt to dial down any talk or anything about it, and STILL get weird comments and looks from people. So I've stopped trying to go down that route. It's getting me nowhere. It would work for others, though. Just....not for me. I've tried groups, clubs, meetings, everything.

Actually, looking around, I did post about it.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4803779 ... t=#4803779

Another thing is, and this might sound mean (as I treasure the one or two friends I have), but the friends that I do have are way older than me. Talking like 2 or 3 decades older. I want friends my age but can't seem to get them. If I was around 40 or 50, it'd be fine, but I'm only 23.