Framed by someone without a conscience

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Has anyone ever been in this situation.

Basically, i was framed for something i didn't do. Someone else created a problem, which they then proceeded to blame on me. Which is fine, except everybody believed this person and i got into some major major s**t. Depressing wanting to kill yourself s**t. And no matter what i did, no matter how i tried to explain the truth of the situation, this person was liked by the people making the decisions and enforcing the rules and basically they didn't even give my side of the story a second look.

Nobody will believe me. Nobody. This person swans around like nothing happened even though it put me in a position that i didn't ever deserve, a situation that someone like me never gets into, because although i do have a big mouth, i just don't do the kind of thing i was accused of, im a pretty moral person and the kind of thing that i got accused of just isn't me. And still im watching my back, waiting for something more to come of it. It's made me paranoid and it takes a lot of my enjoyment in life away.

Also, even though it wasn't my fault, i feel that just having the blame put on me and not cleared means that i actually did it. I feel like a genuinely bad person and it just keeps sucking away at me, no matter what i do i can't escape the bad feeling having done something bad makes me feel like. Even though it wasn't me! I still don't know what to do. I feel this person deserves to have done to her what was done to me. She deserves people knowing just what a bad person she really is. She deserves to have people hate her and point at her and talk about what a lousy excuse for a person she is. I took her punishment, i paid for her crime, i WANT to see her get what she deserves.

Not that she'll admit to it of course. I guess it's just a nice little stain on my soul, one that i'll have to live with because the person that caused the problem doesn't have a conscience.

Sorry for the rant, not much anyone can advise on i know. Interesting stories where bad people got what they deserved would make me feel better though . I added a poll, do people think she should get strung up or what? ( not that i'd do that of course!! ! She's the nasty one. )

Last edited by UnBored on 01 Aug 2012, 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

If she blamed you intentionally, set up the gallows and I'll bring out the noose.
What happened, exactly? That's what I'm missing here.

What exactly is this heinous act you are accused of?

Story of my life. I think maybe aspies are a magnet for that sort of thing, because we can't defend ourselves as well against it as NTs can.

Sociopaths (AKA "master manipulators") see "sucker" written all over us - easy targets. I've been down that road several times and have yet to successfully fight against one.

One major factor in this is most people in the workplace know very well what kind of person s/he is and will side with the bully simply to avoid that bully from targeting themselves. Standing up to a bully puts you at high risk of conflict... and into the direct line of fire.

I had a lower-management supervisor who was well-known for bullying and playing favorites (although most are afraid to classify it as sociopath, thinking that means "axe murderer".) She targeted me after I angered her with an innocent comment about my family (she was a single mom and my intact family alone offended her) and purposely sabotaged my efforts from then on, even publicly mocking me in front of the team. She eventually had me fired for "insubordination". I plead my case but lost - because the head of HR was one of her "drinking buddies" and therefore under her manipulation.

People are weak and too afraid for their own self-interest to stand up to a lying, manipulating bully. I don't know how to win yet... I put up a decent effort though, trying to convince others to speak up against her but there was a major round of layoffs hanging in the air and everyone was too afraid of being cut. Ironically, they were anyway.

Yes. The last band I was with had a guitarist with a serious meth issue who befriended a local studio owner and supplied him with meth and weed. I wasn't living right myself at the time, pretty much staying drunk for about a year and a half. The guitarist invited me over 1 day and when I got there a mutual acquaintance was present, a well-documented crook. I thought it was a bit strange but I indulged in the party to be social. The next day the guitarist dropped off my gear and speeched at me for about an hour about my faults. He went to his studio owner buddy and told him I ripped off his dope. I showed up to rehearse with another band and the owner screamed at me in the hall. They had the better part of a year to observe me and get an idea of my character. At previous times the owner would have me fix the PA systems and I never thought to ask for anything in return. To get a complete about-face was pretty fecal. I felt a small bit of justice when the studio owner's business partner died earlier this year

Sometimes it seems like defending yourself only makes people more convinced that you must be guilty. In my experience, it is better to say little or nothing about the situation. If people want to believe you are guilty of something, they will no matter what you say.

But also, to any extent you can, collect evidence that supports your innocence. Over time, you may be able to collect enough evidence to prove your case to anyone who asks. Just make sure that your evidence is real and scrupulously truthful. And once you have it, don't use it against the person. Just keep it available to defend yourself should it be necessary.

I strongly DO NOT recommend any sort of retaliation. If you try to do anything against this person, you may find your actions turned against you and you will only end up looking even more guilty.

I know this isn't exactly a satisfying suggestion. Whenever I have felt wronged, I have really wanted to get back at the person. But over the years, I have learned that moving on with my life and not letting another person's actions affect me has been the fastest way to get away from a problem.

I am supposed to go to a civil trial sometime in the near future. I am one of many defendants in a very interesting case. I do have some fear about my AS being used against me if called to teh stand. I will probably be made to look weak and vulnerable once that becomes an issue at trial. So yeah, I can relate

Ive gone on tie raids stating that Blank must be right " the accuser" give all the alleged details and the truth as one the people have to think for them self that i.e. 1+1=6 cant be right because if it was this wouldn't work as blank said. Ive found if you take the defensive position you all ways look guilty to others. In other words she said this and blank must have saw it because it happened in front his office at lunch and he all way eat lunch there at that time. What?? he dint see a thing he must have he was there.

Sweet Pea hugs