About a month ago my computer's hard drive had crashed and had recently replaced. A very awkward way of starting off this thread in regards to the title but allow me to explain:
As foolish and pitiful as this sounds, I spend a majority of my time on the internet because it is the only escape I have from stress and reality that's not as unhealthy as drinking or smoking. However when my hard drive crashed I've been having to deal with my family a lot more frequently than I usually do, and as unfortunate as this sounds I tend to avoid them most of the time for how they act around me. My mother works most of the time and my brother is a grade-A DICK, who looks down upon me with disdain and annoyance, having no sympathy for my aspergers and outright labels me as a "ret*d." My mother and brother are usually at each others' throats for reasons I get conflicted at and unfortunately I am the 3rd wheel for whatever they're fighting about. My sister is no help either as she idolizes my brother, despite her not appearing to like it. While I was away from my computer, my anxiety around them seems to have risen to a new level. I find myself being unable to think around anyone in my family and I'm beginning to see that they too do not like having me around them either, immediately stating that I don't "pay attention." While that is slightly true that I have a tendency of not being that bright, I too am beginning to get annoyed by their constant belief of this. I've unfortunately haven't talked to them (or at least, my mother) about this as I fear that they'll immediately think I'm being full of it and expect me to pay attention more often without understanding how I feel...
If anyone is (or has been) in this sort of situation as I am in, any sort of help on how to deal with these sort of feelings would be greatly appreciated.
10 Sep 2012, 6:37 pm
