Dour and Confusing Stuff

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This might be complicated to follow, but stay with me or at least try if you feel up to it.

I'm not dying, at least I don't think I am. But I sure feel like I'm dying, like something inside is preparing to shut down. There's no physical evidence of this, I have no aches or pains or symptoms that would suggest I am dying. Just this prevalent feeling that of detachment that feels...ominous and ultimate. The world has a terribly dismal tint to it lately, there's no hope anywhere. It almost feels like a part of me is looking forward to this. Yet I know there's nothing wrong with me and it's not going to happen.

I'm probably overthinking this. I get accused of overthinking quite a lot.

Would you describe it as a feeling of impending doom? I get that sometimes. I feel as though I've forgotten something that's VERY important...but I can't figure out what. Just makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it's just another way anxiety can manifest?

I dunno, you'd think impending doom would be scarier than this. This just feels hopeless and inevitable. I can't even really state that it's that inevitable, maybe it's just that...encompassing.

For all I know, I could just be f*****g suicidal again. But my last attempt just got me imprisoned for a week, so why would I try that again?

Have you ever experienced a trauma? Something that knocked the wind out of you, figuratively, and left you emotionally vacant? If so, maybe you are suffering from PTSD. A feeling of impending doom and a persistent sense of finality are symptoms.

Bullying can also cause PTSD.

Child Abuse, School Bullying, Parents Messy Divorce, Massive Panic Attacks, Work Bullying, Suicide Attempt, Imprisoned for Suicide Attempt, Cyberbullying, Lost my Job, House Burned Down...

Yeah, I think PTSD is not unlikely.