Hate my hometown but unable to move!

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I had to come back to my hometown after living in the capital of my country (Holland) for 6 years. Living in Amsterdam was not that special but it certainly beats living in my hometown again. I did not return voluntarily. I had to come back because my mother is seriously ill, she has multiple sclerosis, and my 94 year old granny needs some extra care and help as well. There is no one else who can take care of them because my mum and I don't have any siblings.

I don't mind being a caregiver at all. The problem is that I feel totally miserable and depressed in my hometown. Since I have returned things have been going downhill for me. I have no positive feelings about this town at all. The people are kreepy, narrow minded and xenophobic. It has always been hard to feel a connection with other people because of my aspergers but it is impossible for to feel one with anyone in this nasty town. I feel uncomfortable when I am walking down the street here. It's as if everyone dislikes me or something. No need to mention that the feeling is mutual ofcourse. Smoking some pot in the evening before I go to sleep helps me with my aspergers, but since I came back to this town I have been smoking it every night in an attempt to drive the misery away.

I don't know what to do anymore. The thought of spending another year here fills me with despair, fear and a whole bunch of other negative feelings but I can't and will not leave my mother and my grandma to their own devices. That would be cruel, selfish and egocentric and simply impossible in my opinion. I feel like I am nagging about it all since I live in a nice appartmen in the centre of town. There is not much to complain about in that respect but I can't stop myself from loathing and hating this f...... town!
What am I supposed to do to keep things bearable?

It's still your hometown. You've grown up there, and therefore it has to have some meaning to you, doesn't it? Hometowns can be a drag, especially if you have Aspergers and don't have good memories from the place, but as I see it the best people are those who have a close relationship with their hometown. They radiate more authenticity, and maybe have a more vital feeling to them. If you have bad memories and don't get a good feeling of the town, it's probably some "real" issues because of your past with AS that need to some way or another be dealt with, you can't run from that. The cliché is that almost everything is misunderstandings, they don't get you and you don't get them. I just moved from a big European city to the city I grew up as well, and even though it sucks I am after all home..

^^^^^Sometimes hometowns turn to crap over time. Some suck to begin with.

OP: is there any chance of moving your mom and grandmother somewhere else?

I feel your pain. I've had the same issues in the past, but I softened up over time. I feel for you, man. *hugs*