False hope

Post Reply New Topic

Sometimes I thought false hope was better than not, but today I have my doubts. After talking to my girlfriend plainly and refusing to let her dismiss my autism things got a bit better . She seemed to transform into a more understanding person and we have seldomly had explosive arguments. But now I feel it's because i have been too passive and avoiding her temper. I am once again waiting for the other "shoe" to drop and I do not understand how NTs can be happy one second and pissed at me the next and I never notice when I crossed this barrier.

Hope is what encourages us to put in effort despite a decent chance of futility; this is a beneficial and likely very vital skill to possess.

Most neurotypicals will mask their true level of frustration, out of a perceived sense of "politeness," until the frustration becomes so intense that it boils over to the surface-- much like autistics and their sensory overloads. They may not be any more aware of this frustration than some autistics are of their sensory sensitivities. The difference between those with great social difficulty and those without, it seems, is that the latter group can find the miniscule indicators of irritation hidden in a person's face, gestures, word choice, and/or voice, while the former group cannot.; therefore, the latter group may be able to remove themselves from the situation or deescalate the frustration before it becomes an argument. Of course, everybody, even the most emphatic and social apt individuals of all, often find that they had pressed one too many buttons and cause anger in others.

I hope that things work out well between yourself and your girlfriend and that your hope turns out to not be in vain.