Pulled in two ...

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I feel pressured into conforming - i.e. going out and meeting people, having close friends, having (I guess) a life - but I'm really comfortable with being alone most of the time, reading, writing, listening to music etc.

Why do people find this way of life so wrong?

I live with my parents (have been diagnosed with M.E and am too ill to live alone), have worked in a few jobs before, have had real-life friends, had 'friends' online etc, but having had all this it makes me realise that I want to be alone. Having people around me (except, in small doses, my parents) makes me feel ill. I can't keep up with conversations, I don't want to make small talk, I don't want to listen to other peoples' problems ....

I've been ill for a few years and that's made me isolated from family and friends and I love it. I do what I want, when I want. I've fallen in love with nature, animals, books, music and so on. All the things that don't have an opinion or tell you that your lifestyle is wrong.

However, my extended family think I am weird. I have stopped seeing certain members of the family because I feel so drained and tense around them, so now they think I am even weirder. My GP keeps trying to get me to go to an Aspie 'club' to "meet people" which is miles away and, with having M.E. it wouldn't be easy to do but he won't let up. So now I'm not going to see him now either.

Why can't people understand that as an Aspie (or maybe it's just a part of my personality) I don't want to 'meet people' or even have any interest in what other people are doing with their lives.

On the other hand a part of me want to please people, to be normal - I would love to be 'normal' - and I see 'normality' every day on the TV and that hurts; so much so that I can barely watch TV any more.

I would love to live on an island alone, with animals, have post and groceries delivered once a week and just live a very simple life.
There was a story in a newspaper recently about a woman who lived a very simple life in a hut in some remote place. She had very little intervention from the outside world. I thought it looked wonderful; my family thought it weird (and, judging by the comments online, so did the majority of other people commenting on the article).

Why are people like this ridiculed/called 'weird'. They're not hurting anyone.

I'm not particularly social myself. I'm happy to not go out and meet people too much - it's hard work.
But I do still make some small effort, and I find online contact works very well for me.

Those close to you are concerned (and, I suspect, with good reason) that you are indeed hurting someone by your withdrawal - yourself. Yes, social contacts are hard work - but if you don't make an effort to practice them, you'll just shrink further inside yourself. In the same sense that muscles atrophy when no used, so your social "muscles" need to be worked every so often. The first thing you should do is ask yourself why you avoid social contact - does it frighten you, wear you out?

As your muscles have atrophied a great deal, you'll need to start small. A few minutes at a time is fine, but you'll need to build them up. Go into any social situation with a clear idea of how long you'll be there, what you're looking to get out of it and a desire to stay a little longer than the last time.

Small talk is often tedious. It helps to realise that the verbal content is fairly irrelevant - the emotional content is what counts. People use small talk to show each other that they enjoy each other's company, and it's a skill that can be practised and learnt.

Because other people aren't like this and therefore don't understand it. Not understanding it, they can only see it from their own perspective. Being alone is not pleasant from their perspective, so they can't think of a way it can be normal. There may also be a fear or anger response to the fact that a personality so radically different from their own exists.

I can understand this, but I've spent 10 years practising, trying to fit in, be 'normal' and I hate it. I have tried to like living that way but it's exhausting, it doesn't really interest me, and, worst of all, it makes me terribly unhappy.

I keep telling my doctor that I hate human contact. He, of course, thinks that's not healthy, but he cannot accept that this is what makes me happy.

It feels like a constant battle against people who *think* they know what's best for me. As starkid says, it's presumably because they don't understand it and it's not pleasant from their perspective. Yet I don't have such strong views on their lives ... I let them live their own life, so why should they be so opinionated and annoying when it comes to mine?

Ah! That's where you're going wrong. Stop trying to be normal! For a start, I've never met anyone normal. They'd probably be very dull. I remember trying to be normal and fit in when I was younger and it led to stress (and meltdowns). You are allowed to be weird. Some people won't like it - that's their problem. All you need to do is learn enough social rules to get on with other people.

I very much doubt that my work colleagues consider me normal. Kind, enthusiastic, helpful, intelligent, dynamic, considerate... quite possibly mad. But if they think I'm normal, they're either bonkers themselves or very unobservant. I talk to myself; sometimes I sing quietly to myself. I'm prone to stim when bored or stressed. I talk to computers. I don't always pick up when people are talking to me. I hardly ever make eye contact. None of that seems to matter, though.

Learn to stop any habits that irritate, and stop trying to fit in. You can't. It will take years of practice to pass as "normal" and you'll hate every minute of it. Just be you, and change the bits that need changing as and when you discover them.