I want to seriously end my life right now.

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I hate myself so much.
I am male, 18, I am in the final years of my school, and I literally hate existing as a human being and existing myself.

First of all, I have been struggling with depression and mental imbalance since I was 7 years old after I was repeatedly attacked verbally and treated poorly by my 2nd Grade teacher, and since then I have struggled for years with depression, bullying from students, teachers and parents.

Teachers in my school repeatedly harass me because they think I cannot succeed at school, they repeatedly warned that I cannot succeed in the most rigorous curriculum at school. I don't know why every teacher is always out to get me. I just think it is because I am myself, and they are just bullying and harassing me because of my disability.

I doubt I can do anything good in my life, because I've struggled for years with a reading disability, the only person that's helpful in my life is my mom, well my dad's a bit of an a**hole really. I get bullied, abused, taunted by everyone, and I just want to kill myself because my dad constantly beats me up for things I never even did, everybody at schools thinks I'm a loser, even though I am not.

I am so fed up of being so miserable and angry, that I want to go end my life immediately. Should I end my life or not?

It appears you are letting other people validate who you are. f**k EM. March to your own drummer. To hell with what others think you should do or be.

I'm sorry to hear about that, but I don't think you should end your life.

My answer to your question

is no.

I've been where you are and know how painful and difficult a place it is. I spent some time in a stress unit and got into professional counseling, which helped me a great deal. I'd seen mental health counselors from the age of 6 to the age of 17 and they did no good, but after the stress unit things seemed to change.

It is hard to stop letting other define who you are when it has been going on for so long, even harder to do it without some kind of support, but if you can manage it, it will be well worth it.

Dude, you cannot be so wrapped up in what others think of you. We all have are own set of strengths and weaknesses.

The most any of us can do is make the most of our strengths while minimizing our weaknesses as best we can....

Do this and KNOW you are the best you, you can be. Also realize that no matter what you do, you cannot control what other people think. So, don't waste your time.

It might seem hard right now, but things will get better.

Just concentrate on being your best you, and know that only your opinion about you matters.

I don't think now is the time to end your life. You mention that you are about to finish school - this is a huge milestone and things will change drastically for you once you enter the "adult" world. You will find that you have more autonomy. Put the memories of being bullied and ostracized behind you and move forward.
Is your Dad physically beating you? If so, you need to get out of that environment. If he is verbally beating you, this too is bad for you. Don't listen to him. He is probably transferring his own feelings of self doubt on to you . . . and you don't need them.
Are you planning to go on to post-secondary education or get a job? Either way, make sure you do something that is within your capabilities and that you are not setting yourself up for failure. It took me years to realize that I have to live within my limitations, but that this does not make me less valuable. Everybody has a right to survive and enjoy their life. The trick is finding what works for you.

well then i do not want to post in your thread because i may never get a reply.

I second this

No of course you should not kill yourself!

If your mum is supportive then you've already got something good in your life. Have you told her how you are feeling? Perhaps she would contact the school if she knew the teachers were being horrible to you.

I'm sure things can and will improve for you. Keep posting here too.

Been there myself. I hid all the knives in the house and hung myself. A pair of kindergarten scissors was found and I got cut down.

The only aftereffect was oxygen deprivation in parts of the brain. I had to learn cursive writing again, probably other items as well but how to recall what is no longer there?

My crappy life never did improve much, now I am 60. The good part is I will die naturally soon, no effort required. This knowledge keeps me going.
Not sorry I lived, wish life had been otherwise, but take pride in finishing it the hard way.

Mate, I'm ging to sound so patronising here and I apologise for that, but... you're 18. You're just on the brink of becoming an adult. You can finish school. You can at some point leave your parents' home. You'll get more choice in your own medical treatment.

Things could improve massively in the next few years. I know you don't believe it now or you wouldn't be questioning dying. But things can change. Why not give adult life a try and see? If you kill yourself now, you'll never have that opportunity.

No, you absolutely shouldn't do anything to hurt yourself.

be defiant and tell them they won't dictate to you how you will live your life.

I appreciate you guys helping me out. Really it has.
Second of all, as I am progressing towards the end of school, should I go and completely disappear?

Well, I am replying to posts. Say what you want to about this. I'm not ignoring your presence you know...

I experienced a bit of this myself (teachers being against me). And other people for that matter... my philosophy on that.. I would make it my goal to prove them wrong and I would work as hard as I could to prove them wrong (that I could do something and succeed... and I have in many ways).

I think if you let people get you down (teachers, other students, whatever) then, yes, you won't succeed, but if you tell yourself that you are better than they think, and take on the "I'm going to prove you wrong" attitude like I did, I think you will surprise yourself and them as well. I know it sounds eaiser than it may actually be, but once you do, the feeling that you "beat" them is a good feeling.

I had a few professors that didn't think I would get very far, and I felt the same way myself, that I would just settle for average, but I worked hard, even against other people's advice (which at the time, some of it was useful, but some of it probably would have slowed me down had it followed it) and from what I can see in my life, it's paid off. Both figuratively and literally.

Point being, people will tell you you can't do things. Prove them wrong. But I will ay this though, it may not be easy and it may be an uphill battle. Mine was, but if you keep a goal in mind, you should be able to get through whatever despite what others may tell you.

And for the part about "disappearing." Don't do it. It's not worth it. I think you just have a lot going on and a lot of external stress causing you to think that way. I know that I've had times where I just wanted to die, but am glad that it never came to that. I've considered it (a long time ago when I was younger--younger than you are now), but look at the positive things you have to live for. Me personally, I couldn't see myself ending my own life... Heck I can't even build up enough strenght to hit someone if I needed to--no matter how mad I get.

When I was in HS, I didn't get the best grades, I didn't participate in the groups or clubs, I didn't date, or anything. I thought I had hit rock bottom in life. HS sucked for me for the most part. I just floated on to get through with the bare minimumum I needed to finish. Then I got to college, and things really turned around for me. I actually enjoyed college life, did a lot better in classes and was able to successfuly complete a 4 year degree with a high GPA. And all along people (mainly at work where I used to work) would tell me that I'd be stuck there (at work) for life, not going anywhere. I proved them wrong, and quit my job in favor of a better (higher paying) one. I don't feel sorry for my fellow co-workers. I told them I wasn't staying there for life, and I did something about it. I didn't let them dictate or influence me. I kept my goals in sight and worked toward them each day.

(In case you haven't noticed, the "prove they're wrong" is sort of a game/motto I use for myself to boost myself and get things accomplished and feel good about it.)
You have to ignore the teachers and bullies and do your own thing. Everyone can succeed if they try.

Move somewhere else and just pack up and leave one day, yeah. I moved away from a town full of people who didn't like me, and it was a good decision. Eventually I wanna move much farther away, maybe out of the country. If you can move and start fresh somewhere, it's great.

You're 18, you got a life ahead of you. Follow the dreams you had as a child, even if they're silly (I wanted to be really strong as a child so I lift weights as an adult) and just go and do stuff. f**k everyone else. f**k their success, f**k all that. The world financial system is screwed anyway. Being rich is a pointless endeavour, be creative and find ways to do what you want on the least money possible, and just go.

Good luck.